It's more about my life..

well.. starting off, i'd like to say that im a male, 20 years old, and I am Iraqi.. Most of you probably would know that Iraq at the moment is Hell.. its not easy nor a peaceful place to live in.. i left Iraq at the end of 2003.. lived in a country called Jordan for mostly 5 years, studied there, finished my high school and stuff.. After a short time, the Migration board out there in Jordan decided not to "renew" our residences in there ( me and my family ).. so we had to leave somewhere to a different country, or just go back to Iraq ( and hell no we wont ). So me and my younger brother stayed in Jordan, trying to hide from the authorities and police men and anything connected to the government, while my father,mother and older sister, got the chance to leave Jordan and head to Europe.. and to be more specific, to Sweden. me and my brother couldnt have the Visa so we didnt go, anyway. they went there, applied as a Refugee, and things worked out well and they got the permanent Swedish resident.. which is quite good, that means they wont be forced to leave Sweden.. Since i was 18 years old, my parents couldn't "pull me" as we can say.. to Sweden. so my younger brother stayed with me so i can at least have some one to talk to while i wait.. I'll make it as short as i can so, father came, 3 of us left Jordan and went to Malaysia, stayed for a week, then to Laos, we met a smuggler out there, he claimed that he can let us pass and reach Europe with no problems.. and so we believed.. me and my brother got fake passports, and left to Vietnam, my father left to Sweden since he cant help us doing anything.. from Vietnam, we book a flight to France, Of course, we couldn't make it through the airport.. 1 day at the jail, a long pissing interview.. then pass us back to Laos, caught us again in the airport, another long fucking interview and investigation.. stayed in a "guest house", took all of our clothes, watches, laptops, everything.. just what ever i had on from clothes.. stayed there for about a week, its not like a jail, its more like a really fucked up place where like 20 rooms shares 2 bathrooms.. it was a real mess, i didn't have shower for a whole week.. i think u know how i smelled those days lol.. anyway. the main problem is, they told us to wake up at 8 am, and go to the migration center or what ever it is.. BUT i dont have any time machine, no phone no clock no watch nothing!! so i had to stay awake the whole night.. each 10-20 minutes i go out of my room, look through the balconi, and see how is the weather like, if its dark then its still not 8 am, if i see any light then i would go and wait or what ever.. anyway, it probably sounds easy for u guys but trust me, its completely not! anyway i left laos, went back to Malaysia, stayed there for a month, couldn't renew my visa nor my residence time, so i had to leave.. went to a country called Syria, in Syria i stayed for 3 months, Then i went to Turkey, in Turkey i stayed for 4 months, first month was fun, because i could go out and walk like any other person, but after that, i couldnt, my visa lasts for 1 month only, and can't renew it.. in the first month, me and my brother applied in the Swedish embassy so that they can send us to our family there in Sweden, after 3 months, the decision came out, My brother has his permanent Swedish residence in his passport, but i didn't.. my brother flew to Sweden in the next few days,i stayed alone.. i appealed the Swedish migration decision, because all of my family members ( My father, My mother, My sister and My brother), has permanent Swedish residences!! i mean for god's sake have some mercy!! buy anyhow, after 4 months of appealing the decision.. i have been refused again.. my life was a mess.. like a true fucked up situation i was in.. then i decided to go the hard way, if they don't let me in with respect (as we say).. i'll go there by force.. so indeed, i contacted a smuggler i know in Turkey, and he said that its alright, but the way were going to Greece ( we suppose to go to Greece just so we enter to any Europian country), is by walking through the forest, followed by a river, and 7 hours walking.. are you ok with that? i was like yeah what else i have to lose.. i got nothing anyway.. and so we agreed.. contacted him the day we were supposed to leave at, gave me the address, and so i went there, they told me to go to a specific Hotel, and so i did.. i went over there, and met a guy, who was actually getting smuggled to Greece aswell, but with a different smuggler, so we chatted a little, and he convinced me with his way of getting through to Greece, so i left my smuggler, and joint this new guy so at least some one u care or join or any companion with u would be much more better than being alone.. so we left Turkey, reached Greece, ( we went there through sitting behind the Chair of the Truck's Driver!!! you can imagine how humiliating is that!) but what can a person do... anyway.. from Greece, i booked a plane to Spain, of course, i was using an invalid passport, so while i was "almost" like passed through the gates, the woman told me to step aside, i was like sure.. then i ran like a mouse getting followed by a cat lol! outside the airport quick!! and so i escaped from the police or security out there.. be back on another try.. tried again after 2 weeks.. i passed and i reached Spain! next day i booked a flight to Gothenburg ( a Major city in Sweden ), and so i flew.. i reached Sweden at last, and met my family again.. sadly the story isn't done yet.. i applied as a refugee here, in Sweden, and stayed there, with my family in their house, watching them going to school, studying Swedish language, all busy going on with their lives.. but me still waiting for my turn to "have a life" as u can say.. 7 months after, i have been declined........... reason is "you can go back to Iraq.. it's safe now"... ok now seriously, thats bullshit... you believed my family's case.. and you said yes, u deserve to be a refugee and so they had their residences here with them! why im not able to have one ?! plus WE ARE A FAMILY! WHY THE HELL YOUR DISMEMBERING THEM FOR NO FUCKING REASON!? still questions cannot be answered... all i could do is appeal the decision, and so did i ... after like 3 months, i had an interview in a courtroom, informed me that after 14 days the decision would come out.. so i called after 14 days, and they told me "your appeal has been refused".. means you didnt have the Swedish residence... and now, i only have my last appeal.. and if it get declined.. i will end up in Iraq..and im still suffering from this situation .. i just wanted to talk to somebody since i was alone for more than 2 years from now..and people.. remember to have mercy on other people.. trust me were all human.. were not animals.. and now even animals are kinder than us.. so before hurting somebody, put urself in their shoes.. and then judge.. thanks and wish me luck.. coz i srsly need it..

Dearest DeeZi, I am hoping and praying that you will be granted residency in Sweden with your family. I am so sorry for the upheaval in you and your family's lives. It is a burden that most people of Western countries will never have to bare. We can not even begin to understand what turmoil you have suffered. I can only say that I wish is wasn't so. If there was anything that I could possibly do to help, I would. The only thing I can do, is send a wish out for you everyday in hopes that you will find a peaceful life. My best to you always.