Suicide troubles

Alright, I'm only fourteen. And I just can't take it. My parents expect me to be a total little mormon boy, I can't stay in relationships, I have made the mistake of letting my friends convince me into looking at a playboy magazine. and now I just don't know if I can take any of this... :( At school, people are protected by it. They can get away with making fun of you for your size... Now, if your a guy... like me... don't you hate it when someone makes fun of your size? As in like muscle and stuff? Now I'm not some weak little wimpy nerd... I'm not your big old jock type... but im kinda in the middle... and you can't do anything when they say anything to you... The other thing is I got into a fight with my sister... sadly, I couldn't control myself and I put her in a chokehold... my dad had to release my grip... I really love her and I don't want to hurt her... so I have thought about these things: 1) Killing myself would protect her. 2) Killing myself would make kids at school regret. 3) I won't have to worry about my religion if I kill myself. 4) My parents will never forgive me for letting my friends show me that. Plz help before I do something stupid.

Suicide only causes heartache. Life is very precious. There are things worth experiencing out there. I know life seems hard right now but I believe you can overcome it a become happy. I know you are feeling pain and you would really like relief but remember that relief is a feeling and you have to be alive to feel it. High school can be an awful world. People are mean and they hurt each other to make themselves feel better. Ignore them. Their words don't mean anything. Why is being averaged sized wrong? Look at the world and all the different types of people in it. Everyone is different. If not one person is the same then how can one person be better? Who decides who is better? I would dare to say there is not one normal person in the entire world. Diversity makes the world turn. Everybody gets curious at your age. Heck, I was curious and I am a seventeen year old girl. Religion is a tough topic. I am a reorganized morman so I know what you are going through a little bit. I guess I would just say to be yourself. Talk to your sister and let her know that you love her and are deeply sorry. Tell her what you are going through and share your feelings. Talk to your parents. They will forgive you. If you feel like you aren't up to talking to your family talk to a friend. Please don't do anything rash. Just remember that there are people out there who care. I will always care. I love you.