Torn between two women

Hello this is my first post, some people may think I'm selfish, a horrible person or just a plain time waster but I'm really not .. Okay, so my ex broke up with me 6 months ago (third time in 4 years) I met someone else shortly after and was casually just talking as friends and then friends with benefits - this woman is 7 years my senior and has 1 child. I started gaining feelings for her and almost completely forgot about my ex.. Was enjoying myself and having a great time. Now just recently my ex came back into my life and I had a sudden 'realisation' that I wanna spend the rest of my life with her.. I ended things with the older woman, And was 100% sure of my decision. During the month I've been seeing my ex I told her how happy I am with the way things are going (because I really was) I have even gone and planned to join her and her family on their holiday.. Now I met up with work friends a few days ago - and the other woman was there.. I suddenly just remembered why I was seeing this woman beforehand.. I literally was mesmerised by her.. Everything about her had grabbed my attention.. My chest began to hurt and I felt a massive wave of regret.. Then when I don't bump into her at work for a while I start relaxing and feeling okay with everything, then bam I bump into her and all these mixed emotions flood my mind.. And now I'm here.. I love my ex, there's no doubt about it. I have feelings for this other woman, it's obvious. But here comes the tricky part.. I know age is just a number, but sometimes you need to look at the bigger picture.. She's 7 years older than me, divorced, and has 1 child.. She's lived so much more than me.. She might not want anymore children or to experience life as much me.. And that's a big thing to me.. But I can't help but think about this women day in and day out.. It's so hard.. But then here comes my ex.. I love her, had planned our entire lives together in the past.. Kids.. Marriage.. Holidays.. The lot. Great sounds perfect .. But I don't know how I feel about any of that anymore.. I love her company and like to care for her .. And have gone and agreed to go on holiday with her, she's so excited and so was I a few days ago - I'm torn between both of them so much and it kills me every day :/ I sound so greedy but I really don't know what to do anymore The holiday is in a week .. I don't know what to do.. My emotions change every single day.. I can never relax I really need some type of advice because this relationship problem is just the begining of my overall problems.. I don't know how much I can take anymore and have gone to the extent of seriously wanting to just give up with my life. Someone please help me out

A few thoughts: 1. Have you asked the older woman what she'd want? It's possible she wants more kids. It's possible she'd want them with you. It's possible she wouldn't. But until you ask, there is the possibility. 2. If older woman doesn't want the same stuff you do, then I wouldn't pursue. It's just going to end in misery. 3. As far as your feelings with the ex go...do you care for her? Is she someone you can see yourself with long term? If not, maybe she's not right for you, either. (In fact, it may be that some of your feelings for the other woman are because, at some level, you know you don't want to be with your ex. It's possible, too, that your feelings for the other woman are just an infatuation. It's possible, too, that they're real. But not every relationship with real feelings is bound to work out. If your end goals aren't the same, then even if it's real, it won't work out.)

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to give me advice - I appreciate it so much. I'm just so worried about hurting everyone else it clouds my mind, and I never know what I truly want for my self :/ Would going on this holiday with my ex be an extremely horrible move on my behalf? My ex doesn't know how I feel, but I don't want to do something I may regret and end up hurting her further :/

CONFUSEDGUY6, would you, at any point in the next day or so, like me to help you form an instant but honest decision in 2 minutes flat, with a little tried-and-tested mental exercise?