Why cant i change??

im 22 been addicted to alcohol and other substances since I was 13 ive been bisexual my whole life and always thought that was the drive behind why I was the way I was...my father does not agree with it he put stuff in my head as a kid making me hide it for so long,and he did that without a rhyme or reason. now three weeks ago I decided to come out cause I was tired of living a double life but of course my father said a lot of horrible things ending with im disowned..i do have people who support it but in a sense of never seeing or hearing about it. I came out cause I want to change my negative life but I feel it has put me into a downward spiral that has a horrible ending with no money I found this site maybe someone whos gone thru the same thing I can talk to. I jus don't know how to change a routine ive been stuck in for so long now more alone than ever...

Wanting to quit and change your life requires commitment and dedication. Do not give up and ask for help.