How to handle my life? really dont knww

I am doing it for the first tym and i really need some1 to talk with.. I donn want to live... My age is 17 when i w as in class 6 i was engaged with my cousn brothers at tht tym i donn even understand tht much but when we grew up he left me we both also get physical with each other but we didnt did that main process after tht i startd feeling addictive to ol these things lyk sex nd all after tht after tht when i was in class 9 then a guy proposed me and i said yes to him and i was in very much love with him we both get physical with each other but had not done tht main process in my childhood when i did it i was nt understanding anythng but this tym i was knwing tht wat is happening with me after getting physical he also broke up with me and after tht i did everytng tht can bring him back into my lyf he also exploited me in my school and every single person was knowing tht i also faced depression for 2 mnths and lose 5 kg coz of crying only i commitd suicide also but tht didnt work i was fed up of my life at tht tym after 3 mnths of my brokeup another guy proposd me i said yes to him but he was also using me we used to do non veg talk over phone coz i was so much addictd to ol ths and on the other side i want to fullfill that empty space i olso said yes just coz so tht i can cope up with ol ths depression then after tht i met 1 another guy he was also my bf for 6 mnths he olso left me coz he was engaged with some other gal after tht 1 more person came into my life and tht person loved me frm 4 yrss i used to talk to him as a friend and suddenly i said yes to him olso he was very happy and he loved me vry much he did everythng for me but i left him but after tht olso he used to talk he was in vryt much love with me as i was in a relationshp with him i startd talking to 1 of my ex for sex chat coz d guy who loved me alot was nt familiar to sex nd ol and after tht when i strd feeling frustrtd i told him everytng tht i was talkinf to this x for sex chat he forgive me but was very muxh hurted then after tht i again hurted him i left him coz i strd lyking 1 person in coaching and was engaged with him we olso broke up coz of caste prblm nd ol then again i came back to this person who loved me vry much i said sry and he forgve me again i told him tht i left tht coaching guy i lied to him after tht 1 day in school i strtd crying for tht person whomm i loved vry much and this guy who loved me vry much olso had done non veg talks with me and did tht physical things but nt tht main process but when i cried for my ex he strd getting frustrd and d guy who loved me so much left me alone as he was so much angry with mee frustrtd.. I said 1000 tyms sry to him but he didnt listen he sufferd very much coz of me. I was trying to do the things normal between us and was trying to do jt frm 5 mnths but nthng hapoend the more i was saying sry the more he hates me dislikez me after our brkup 1 day i went to restraunt and met another new guy next day i strtd talking to him on fb and then on watsapo but when i went to school i felt very guilty coz tge guy for whom i was crying 1 day before i didnt care abt him and strtd talking to new guy... Now i want to end oll this i m frustrtd with my lyf at present i want tht guy back who loved me but now this year we r going to give our boards my reputation is so bad in d school tht when i used to look into my class i see so many people who r my ex and half of this world dnn respect me my.own frnds tht is ashish propposed me and he was nt serious he was jiuss checkinge me my own frns dpnn even trust me i lost evrrythng my repo my friends i lost evertngg my frnd and donn knw wat to doo i m lost i really want to diee want to end ol thss plz help me out i m crying from 2 years over all these things it seems lyk tht my life is lifeles... Waiting for response tyou so much :) now i want to stop this now i m fully destroyd dnn even knw wat i wil do in future hope less

I hope you are ok and found a little bit of peace after sharing so much. You have so much value and you don't even know it but that is because you have been mentally abused by others. I commend you for coming to this forum to open up, that's hard. You are to young to give up life because you have so much to give. Do your best to not let others take advantage of you. You are a great person and you should remind yourself every day of that. If someone else has the same issue as you and reads this, it might give them a little peace in there life and that should make you realize how valuable you are in this world. Please take care of yourself first. You are important and this world needs you!

But i m feeling so lostt that i donn knw wat to do next ? I m destroyed tyou so much for undrstng me its so much relief... Atleast 1 person is intrestd tyou i dnn knw what is the purpose of my life? My parents olso left me coz of financial prblm and i m living with my relatives i m adopted child i dnn undrstnd y life is so cruel with me y it olways provide me pain

Life is an ongoing challenge with so many obstacles that it can seem unbearable at times. You have overcome so many of those challenges already and that should be a testament to your inner strength. You have to see that. You are currently on a new journey in life and it's finding yourself once again. I know you feel alone because I felt the same way many times in my own life. Sometimes it's hard to see the true love around us but trust me it's there. Your relatives love you and that's why you are with them now. Your life has meaning but so many sad and horrible experiences have made that hard to believe. You are so young and you have so many beautiful things to experience in this great life. Please do not allow yourself to give so much to others in hope of getting the love and attention you desire back. The ones that truly love you need nothing but your happiness and well being in return. The ones who demand something or expect something from you, typically are the ones to avoid. Love is a beautiful emotion that can hurt at times but when you find the right person to share your love, you will understand the great beauty of life.

One thing you should know...sharing my thoughts with you helps me deal with my own inner issues. I find peace in life trying to help others or just listening to them. You see, you see know meaning life but if it wasn't for you or others like you who feel the need to share, I would feel my day was incomplete. Allowing me to share my thoughts with you has allowed me to open up and listen to others. That's awesome of you and I thank you.

You are a strong individual who is going through something very hard. Try to challenge yourself in a positive way. Are you currently going to school or do you have the resources to do so? Are you working? I have found that focusing on daily responsibilities can help with inner sadness and stress. Your purpose in life is to take care of yourself first but to do so you must first find some inner peace. Please try hard to do so but without the aid of substances or negative people.

I m feeling much better... I just want to ask 1 thing. I feel v much addictdd to ol this sex nd ol for me its a habit i donn hv any 1 to talk to plzz tell me how to cope up with thiss also for me sex is my need so how to leave this habit how to cope up and just coz of this habit i hv n no. Of boyfriends...how to controll

Sorry for the late reply. Value yourself, value yourself, value yourself. Sex is a natural urge and it should not be anything to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Your addiction to it is hurting you though and like all addictions, difficult to control. I don't have much advice on this but I do know that there are counseling groups in most large cities and also other forums that specifically deal with this subject. Many people out there will take advantage of your addiction to benefit themselves and those are the ones you need to weave out of your life. It is a special part of you and should not be given away to those who do not respect you. The day you find that special someone, if you hold on to that gift, it will be a very special moment between you and that loved one. At your age it's hard to say how many great people will come in and out of your life and you might share that gift with each one but again, as long as you and that significant other value that special moment, there is nothing to feel bad about. I have my wife of 18 years that I love more than anything else and because of that great love, I have 2 beautiful daughters that are my life. We have had are ups and downs but the love I share with her is more special than any love I've ever felt for any other woman. I cheated on her before and we went through difficult times for that reason. I never felt so low and honestly hated myself for hurting her. I have no desire to ever do that again. It's like I said, when you do find that special someone, the love will be so strong and the sex, 10 times more enjoyable! Just don't look so hard for it. You will find someone special and when you do, you will remember what said here. Appreciate that gift of yours and value it, eventually someone else will as well. Your urge is natural and human but controlling it will be hard. You recognizing the addiction is the first step to a better life.

One more thing. Try something to distract your urges when you have them like exercising, cooking or some type of activity. The more you can control the urge with these distractions, the easier it becomes. Take care and have a great week! Love yourself and respect the ones that love you back. Life is a wonderful gift that we have and we only have it for so long. Appreciate every minute of it and be happy. Life will get better, I promise and you will have rough times but it's how you handle adversity that makes you a stronger person and you seem like a strong person :)

Tyou so much :) tyou so very much but now i knw what is right and wrong tyou for ur help... really tyou now i knew how to cope up with this...