Olive oil

I am 27 years old India girl , well educated . When I was 22 I met a 48 years old married guy with two children , elder daughter 18 yrs old and whose office was close to mine. He was successful professionally and is very methodological in his approach. We used to cross each other and one day he invited me at his office. His office was small with only him and his helper. We developed affinity and one day we hugged . He kept his hand on my bums which I politely removed. He gave me couple of hints for physical moves but was never harsh or insisting. I was not having any idea of sex and activities but was sometime excited to go for it. We could only meet at his office for couple of hours daily and he insisted not to get in touch after office hours or on Sunday's. One day we kissed. It became a routine in his office and one day he kept his hand on my private parts. By this time we developed trust with each other and I felt love. Slowly he started fingering me and later on we routinely were engaged in fingering and blow job with out being completely bare since it was his office. I also used to swallo his cum . He used to help me in all aspect as I was living alone , far away from my parents. This routine continued for 4 years. We never had sex but the foreplay was quite regular and he use to take care of my professional ordeals helping and caring. My routine was to daily meet him and give him lunch which I prepare for him everyday except on Sunday's and holidays when I used to feel alone. He never discussed his wife with me but initially mentioned that theirs was love marriage and his wife eloped with him to marry. After 3-4 years he started to say that I should get married as my parents was also insisting . He used to advised me of becoming sensible and move ahead along with friends with him though out his life and he will be there for me. The thought of leaving this routine itself made me depressed and by now I was deeply in love . Meanwhile I met an old friend in the city and started having occasional drinks with him. This old friend of mine was 40 years old again married. He is impulsive and very passionate in whatever he do. We continued drinking occasionally and one day ended up in foreplay. This after few days ended up in sex and I felt I am in heaven. While all this was going in evenings I still followed my routine with older guy but by this time consciously stopped foreplays. i developed a deep love with the new guy as I felt he is pure in whatever he do and is more open. I initiated sexual advance with this guy and he responded that our relationship will only be sexual and friendship but later I realised we both have developed love for each other. One day I discussed my last 4 years with the new guy and he was furious. He said you will never come out with your comfort zone and your relationship with the older guy is based on mutual convineince and he exploited you and a mature guy is not expected to do these things. This relationship will never allow yourself to see more guys for marriage . This was actually true and can't even think of to leave the older guy. The new guy one day counselled me and ask me not to meet the old guy. I did it but felt extremely miserable and dipressed. What should I do....pl help.

How about finding a guy somewhere around your own age? I would also be a good idea not to have any type of physical relationship with a married man - How would you like it if you were married and your husband was having a relationship with another woman? I'm pushing 60 and, although it would be quite an ego boost if some 20 or 30 year old woman was interested in me, it's just not feasible. I couldn't do that to my wife of 35 years who gave me two beautiful daughters. Its just wouldn't be right. That married man... He's living a fantasy with you. The newer guy... I'm assuming he's single and available. However, if you're looking for true love... You might want to look elsewhere. My gut is telling me the you're nothing more than a trophy for his mantle.