I'm not myself since it happened

3 years ago I was in a a domestic relationship my boyfriend use to punch me, strangle me and he also use to cheat on me every week, I stayed with him because he took all of my friends away from me and even cheated on me with my friends I had no one but him I felt so alone I didnt know what to do as I was only 15 at the time, on my 16th birthday I had to get an abortion because of him no 16 year should have to go through that on there birthday, later on that year I was raped and it got me even more depressed, after all of that my parents decided to move me away from it all have a chance for a new life so we moved country, but it still hasn't been easy I still get nightmares and bad anxiety from it and since it I turned to food for comfort and gained about 4 stone which I'm trying so desperately to lose now but I am struggling as I have something called binge eating disorder not many people understand it but it's difficult to explain what goes through my mind, I have tried to have relationships but they have only lasted a few weeks as I freak out about being with someone that they might hurt me and I find an excuse to break up with them I feel like I have had to grow up very fast the last few ears when k know I should be having fun and enjoying my life I don't want to see my friends I find it difficult to make friends I'm not very good at talking to people anymore I just don't know what to say in conversations and feel like I'm boring everyone, I use to be a fun person and enjoy life and now I feel like I'm boring and I'm always a tight ass I don't know how to speak to boys anymore I don't know what love is as I have never really had it I just want to feel loved again I want to be a healthy weight again and I want to be able to talk to people normally with out feeling like I have no social anxiety what do I do??

I dont have any answer but i just want you to know that I read your story and you sound like a beautiful person who deserves love and respect. I hope you find the answers and become that happy fun person again that you miss <3

Your situation seems really hard on you right now but you seem like such an amazing person, ok you have had it rough but think of it that way, you had more obstacles in your 18 years of life than most people will get in a lifetime and you are still standing up, you are still you even though it's hard for now to see who the real you is. I lived similar events in my younger life and I'm actually proud to say that I am a 32 year old mom and a paralegal.The only thing that you need to figure out, before trying to be with someone is who you are and who you want to be, once you are able to see that, you will be able to be around others without feeling out of place or scared. Know what you are worth and don't accept anything else than that, you are beautiful and a great person, don't let the bad things some low lives did to you ruin you, you are better then them , you are better than that.