Is my marriage worth saving

Hello All I'm 42 year old female me and my husband gave been together for 20 years, married for 7 almost 8, I have 4 young adult children, who are no in the home. my husband doesn't have any children. For about 5 to 6 years my husband has become very verbally abusive, he is always downing me,cursing me and my children,threating us, being just down right evil. A few years ago I confided in my children father my ex that cheated on me for help. I wanted to know if it was something that was doing wrong. My ex informed me that he always want to tell me that I was a great mother and partner. That he wish he would have not cheated and stayed with, my ex is also married. While long story short my ex and I have been having an affair for 3 years, Im not ready to leave for husband, but the affair has not stop nor has my husband verbal abuse. I'm so so confused I don't want to be alone. HELP.

Hello,I think perhaps you should take yourself back to the day you discovered your x was cheating on you think about how you felt and decide if you could give that same feeling to your husband because while your cheating with a cheat you have no space to look and see if your long relationship os worth sorting out.x

You have to leave this husband. You won't regret it, he is being abusive towards you. Get out while you are still in your 40's. If you don't you'll regret it. Why would you stay with a man who treats you like this? There is clearly a reason you are having an affair: you're not happy, and you have good reason not to be happy. I say leave him. Good luck I hope it works out.