Believed my married boyfriend's lies until I could no longer deny the truth

Recently broke up with my boyfriend after two consuming and loyal years.I was bought up with utmost moral but seemingly started my relationship with my ex while he was separated from his wife.The constant struggle between my inner conscience and true love kept me tossing and turning with numerous sleepless nights.Finally I decided giving it up for everyone's good.But he came back to me with even strong determination and assurance that he was getting his divorce final and begged me to be by his side during his tough phase.Above all I desired his welfare and choose to be at his side through thick and thin.But the eerie feeling and my womanly instinct believed everything was not right.Though I gave all my happy to nurture the relationship a part of me could not ignore the warning sign that he is lying.Whenever I moved out from apartment and came back for weekends I found stuffs that no woman would like to find in her home build on trust and love.Then there were calls from the so called estranged wife who was still probably getting answers from my boyfriend.However I still choose to believe my ex and his stories....A year passed and he made the illusion of happily ever after from big to bigger.I couldn't have anything much better than a job, a home and a love to come home and spend my life with. Since my ex is a doctor he often had week long conferences, nothing much to contemplate on ...Untill I find folders filled with pictures of my then boyfriend and his estranged wife in each others arm,under fountain,in beaches...Seemed my fairy-tale dreams turned into nightmare with someone trespassing in it...I knew I was at fault to have gone through such pain and have never continued at first place..but my heart was weak enough at that point....to draw me into such nuisance..i was completely shattered and it all seemed end of the story...suddenly i felt from the women to being the other women,the secret,because the wife wasn't the end of story.....All my efforts and passion were wasted by his dirty little secret. When i confronted him with the truth ..he hesitated but accepted his fault and assured all that love and relationship with even more pathological lies.I would hate to be a homewrecker and never suggested him to leave his wife..Rather moved out from the house, job ,the city and from his life.... However now I am lonely,wrecked and probably worthless and staying with my parents..though being with them eases my pain but i cannot share my prolonged paroxysm with them...i seek some answers to my untold agony, was i not good enough,where lies my fault for now i bear such pain.i have lost all enthusiasm or remote sensitivity.I know he was a prick,is happy with his so called sham marriage and will never ever care or bear compunction for his henious deed, nor do i seek revenge or wish pain for him.I often get deppressed and feel lost about the untold strife

I am really sorry you are so upset. It is a tough thing to have someone you love lie and deceive you. But this sounds like a classic case of a man trying to live two lives... He most likely told her he was on conferences or whatever to spend time with you, and he told you the same thing so he could go on vacations with his wife. I have a very black and white view of this from an outside point of view (and who knows maybe I am way wrong) but I say the blame is all on the doctor. He is playing you, he is playing his wife...and it will be the both of you women who suffer for this. Until of course he is found out and ends up alone.