Am I mentally ill?

Hey what's up. For a while now I've had a keen interest in bladed weapons (knives and swords mainly). I guess that's normal but is it if I have cut in the past? It only really started after I cut (only done it once). I lack confidence in myself and have a deep hatred towards school (even though my grades are fine). I cannot get into a relationship and worry that if I do then they will leave me. Members of my family have a mental illness and I wanted your opinion on the chances that I too have this illness. I'm pretty much convinced that I am ill due to the occasional moment I want to die (I say occasional but I mean on a daily basis) anyway, back to the sharp things. I love weapons and love to create them (dont worry, they never leave the house) My main choice are scissors as they can be used for many things (throwing knives etc) Just wanted to know your opinion :) Thanks!