Living with a cuckold

I will be married for 19 years at the end of this month. During those years, we have had our ups and downs like any other marriage. The last six years, my husband has been wanting to love a cuckold lifestyle. This isn't particularly what I want but wanting to make my husband happy, I go along with it. Most of the time we do this for a couple of weeks and then he changes his mind. Then a few weeks later, he's back to wanting to attempt this lifestyle. As frustrating as this is, I also have found him going to websites, downloading chat apps and deleting them so I won't know. I have asked him several times to stop this or at least include me. He always gives me a lame excuse. He has even denied downloading these apps or he say he did just to see if I'm checking up on him. I'm really at my wits end. Do I try to ignore it or say enough is enough? Any opinions, advice or questions are welcome. I love my husband dearly and only want what is best for both of us.

If you want what's best for both of you, and you want different things... I think you already know the answer. Trying to be someone you're not to please someone else never works. And, it sounds like he's a little lost about what he wants. At this point in life, you shouldn't have to feel like you need to change to please anyone, let alone your partner. He's been showing you who he really is, so it's best to believe him. If he's acting shady, he's being shady. No excuse for that, since you seem to be very open minded and willing to discuss and consider just about anything. He's hiding things from you anyway. You deserve to be happy too, and with someone that considers your wants just as much as their own. Ignoring it? Nope. The resentment and anger will only continue to build and you'll both end up paying dearly for it. Say what you need to say. Have a difficult conversation about what each of you really wants. Today, tomorrow, and for the foreseeable future. If those things don't align, it's best to let each other go. I had to walk away after 24 years with my husband. Just did it a month ago, and I already feel SO much happier. I'm not constantly wondering what is going on, where we stand, what's going to happen next, or if I'll ever get what I need or want. It wasn't an easy decision, but since making it, I haven't cried a single tear. We're both relieved, to be honest. Hope this helps..

Unfortunately 19yrsconfused being a cuckold is an obsession with some men. Christopher Ryan co author of sex at dawn somewhat explains it if you haven't read it already.

Dan Savage also can explain the cuckolding fetish and maybe you can get a better understanding. Do a search for Dan Savage cuckolding.