I need some advice

First of all, dorry for my bad english its not my first language. Ok, i do not have a single friend that give a damn about my problems, and my family got biggers problems. So, i was deeply in love with that girl, we were in relationship for a years and the love was fadding. I got some attention from an other girl that was really sweet to me and then i fall i fake love with her (for attention that i didnt get from my girlfriend). I left my girlfriend because i wasnt able to play on her back, now im in a relationship with the second girl. But only because i didnt want to break her heart. Because the seconde girl, lets call her Ariane, (and lets call my ex Roxanne) is deeply in love with me. Ariane is the most sweetest person i've meet for real. She's romantic and all the thing. But im still really in love with Roxanne and im so hurt. Im still talking to her and she still accept to talk to me after 6 months. Im so hurt, that i cry over everything. I dont want to hurt Ariane because she's an angel, and i dont want Roxanne to think that i need her (because she take me for granted). I feel like the most terrible monster in all the time. I cry very often, like 5 time in a week. I need help but my parents are having problems with their own relationship and i dont want them to judge me. Im so destroyed. I cant keep it for myself anymore, but my friends dont know what to say an then, they play videos games because we're boys and we dont talk about those kind of things. I still love roxanne, and she kind of like me but shes dont give a damn about my feelings and she doesnt give me the attention i need. In the other side, ariane is so kind with me but i dont like her as i like roxanne. Im really confuse and im done crying alone. Im sorry for the long post.

i do feel trapped, a lot.