Emptiness

I have never been in an actual relationship even I'm almost 26. I'm not sure what wrong with me. Of course, I like guys. I like a guy who is mature, funny and caring. As I get older by time, I don't need a good looking guy, just ok is enough. I like to start up a relationship where I know the guy enough to accept his personality of who he is, but as the same time, I'm afraid that if things don't work, I can lose a good friendship. I tried to meet many guys online, hanged out few months, however, I realized that I didn't have any feeling for them. They started to like me, but I don't know why I can't open my heart. I was interesting in them to agree to hang out, but in the end, it's just my loneliness. Because I feel bored, I need someone to stay by my side, and because I was too busy into my study that I need in a relationship once in my lifetime. Now I'm tired. Tired to try to find anyone. As love come, I let it be nature. You just can't yourself to fall. You just fall in love. Therefore, I will wait. Sometimes I suddenly feel happy because I'm alone, but I sometimes feel empty when some ask me "do you have a boyfriend?". Is weird for me to not want to date right now? I don't know what my feeling is now. Just need someone to listen. Thanks!

Being alone is not always lonely. Being lonely is not always being alone...it goes both ways. Can you define your "not actual" relationships for me? That term covers a whole lot of ground, means alot of things to different people. You feel empty when others ask your status? Are you interested in a relationship so others will think your happy? Or so you can be happy? Answer honestly, thats all the Truth ask's. Meeting folks on the internet, although it has its merits, is the worst way to find a good friend, or more. Regardless your age, i bet you didnt find your best friend on the internet, did you? Finding true love is just as rare, if not more so, finding it online is a lottery ticket. Happens for a very very rare few. Human interaction is a lost art in this world. Just give it a try, might be suprised what you find.