I'm in a pit I just can't climb out of

Im just lost I've been in the same relationship for three years and something is changing inside of me Im afraid of what is becoming of me I have no will in anything she loves me and the thought of me with out her is painful. she wants to fix things but I feel hopeless anyone who want "space", never comes back im pretty much useless I am on the brink of getting fired I want to fight all of me wants to fix the monster I've become but I just cant I need to save my relationship....I need to save myself.... we fight all the time and I say things I absolutely don't mean I over react I think she cheating when I know better I know its not the case I just feel like I destroy everything I touch. like Im the anti midas everything I touch turns to dust. she is perfect everything I want but I take all of my frustration out on her. I care to much about what other people think of me I don't remember the things that matter most. I cant lose my world. I need to know how to save us how to save myself....

Lost in...you need to clarify, you went all over the board there my friend. At first it sounds like you are being "smothered" or have commitment fears and issues, but it could also be taken that SHE had commitment issues, or wanted space... why have you become a monster? What about yourself needs saving? For the few who read ahead before posting, this is priority #1, everytime, always, no questions asked. Fix yourself first, then address the others. The Truth can help, if you'll let it

I have been in this relationship for 21 years, and I can tell you now, you are going to go through times of doubt, fear, resentment, and all other feelings you can think imaginable. The question you have to ask yourself is whether this relationship is making you the person you need to be. If not, as hard as it is to leave, that may be what you need to do. If the answer is yes, then you need to sit down and analyze what you are doing, (and yes, you are doing something) that is making the guilt eat you like a ravenous lion.