Winning a heart back

I've recently came out of a relationship with a girl i been seeing for 9 months. We was penpals when i was in servign in afghan. we was in contact for almost 4 months before seeing each other physically! When we first met, we fell in love instantly! and enjoy our time we had together! A few couple of months down the line we was having arguements and rows at each other. Manly because i was being selfish and enjoying myself too much with my friends going out getting drunk, and not really being there for her. but when i stop for going out things got better again. but shortly after from moving to a different post. i became selfish once again. i was stubborn to realise that she just wanted to be with me and know where i am. I thought nothing on this because i was acting "single" and not as a partner. i became a coward and pretty much ran away from all the arguements. i went on a dating site whilst still with her. I decided a month later that i had enough of being with her and split up. instantly i regreted it because i kept thinking of the all the times we shared together but was too much of a coward to fight for her. She found out about the dating site and hacked into my account and saw all the girls i messaged whilst being with her. All i want is to be be with her but because of my mistakes i'm not sure she would ever trust me again! Can some one give their thought on this! And yes i know i'm a a**hiole before saying it

hello how are you doing?i really understand what you are going through and i feel your pain..i was in almost thesame problem as yours also...it was so tough and i was emotionally disturbed and all that..i tried all means but nothing worked..until someone told me about a spiritualist who helped me out... i didnt believe my eyes..within 7 days, everything came back to normal... you can email the spiritualist on spellsforbetterlife at yahoo dot com...DONT GIVE UP...!!