Am I going mad?

I've been married for 25 years, my wife is the only women l've slept with. My wife has had two boyfriends before me and she had a very active sex life again before me. Why now is it bugging me to a point where I find it difficult to get close to her. Other men have kissed her etc. I'm now worried that this could split us up. My wife thinks it's stupid and gets annoyed if I ask questions etc. I feel that I should have walked away years ago. I'm lost and feel alone

I don't think these sort of feelings ever really go away. You have a person you really like, but you missed out on things everyone else got to experience. I always had similar feelings, and I think it wouldn't have bugged me if I had met someone that was a virgin like I was. But in today's society, we all eventually get impatient. It's amazing that you have been married for 25 years, but this is just now bothering you to the point that it could end things. I was married a very short time before I realized I had spent half a decade dating and getting engaged to the wrong person. It's understandable that you've felt you made a mistake for so long. There's a lot of questions that are going to arise from this revelation you've made. Since you've spent so many years with this person now, well over 2 decades, I think you may have been letting this go for too long when it's something that really bothered you. I think as men, sometimes we just kind of try to accept the way things are, even when we aren't happy with it. But over time, you just kind of realize you never really attained all that you wanted. It sounds like your wife moved on from her exes, and is loyal to you, and for that you should be thankful at least. You've been together for 25 years. I'm not sure it would be easy to pick up and move on right after that. I will tell you, I haven't made up for lost time nearly enough since I got divorced. I imagine it will be harder for you to meet someone all these years later, for sex or a relationship. Maybe you should sit down and try to have a serious discussion about this with your wife. Just keep in mind how your wife chose you, and has been there for you. When you are alone in this world, boy is it unreal how everybody just decides they want something that is nothing like you.