Complicated love

I am 19 yrs old. My life is completely in a mess right now. About 2 months back I broke up with my boyfriend. In the starting I held myself up and tried to be strong. But since a few days, his memories are tearing me down. I want to get back with him but at the same time I don't. The thing is I was trying to keep going with him but in the last few months we just started blaming each other. And every time we fought I went back to him. He never came back to convince me. And so I think he never really loved me. But I can't get over him. And I am not able to go through even the normal routines of life like food or college. What should I do?

Oh 19! That is such a hard age! You are a grown up but still just at the beginning of so much in your life. There will be other, better guys!! It could take years to find one (or more) but I promise, if you don't feel loved it is not worth it! It is better to be single for life then to be with someone who you love but who doesn't love you back. I understand the depression of losing him, I've been 19 before. It can take over your life if you let it. Don't let it!!!! There is so much to do in life. And a huge number of wonderful, exciting things in life are done when you are single. Go to class, focus on yourself, find something you love that isn't a guy! Good luck...you'll be ok

Whenever m unhappy or feel like quiting, I think of my family my grandparents and mostly that gives me strength to move on. But it is not working quite so well right now. I am trying to convince myself that he never loved me. Maybe that is working a little bit. But m nt so sure.