Woman hater

Does it make me a woman hater if I moan about being unattractive? I have the healthiest respect for my wife; how she has made our house into a home, her unending care of our kids and home, while also being a capable wage earner in her own right. When we are together, we get on well. We don't take each other for granted. We listen to each other and have fun together. After 19 years I reckon we're solid as a rock. Why is it then, that my frequent displays of affection go unreturned? I hug her and kiss her shoulder or head, careful not to grope or annoy. I don't expect instant arousal or anything, but a sign or acknowledgement of some kind. Just to put my mind at rest that I'm not repulsive. That she loves me a little bit. I'm being unfair here. She does occasionally return my hugs and I love it when she rests her head on me. If I try to kiss her, she sometimes doesn't turn away, just keeps it chaste. Maybe I'm weird or strange. My niece thinks so. I just have this deep down need to love and be loved in return. In fact that's all I want out of life. At the start of our relationship, we decided that people who say "I love you too" are not sincere, or at least not sufficiently spontaneous. Nowadays, I'd take what I could get. Spontaneous or prompted, who cares? The sex issues are nothing unusual judging by other couples we know. We have sex when she is gagging for it, but not otherwise. This does nothing for my self-esteem, but doesn't seem to harm hers. Why IS that? All I can say is, thank goodness for my youngest son, who still allows me to hug him occasionally. What on earth will I do when he grows out of it?