Bad break up

My bf broke up with me I want to say the beginning of August. We were in a serious relationship for almost 2 yrs, he is a police officer I was there supporting him thru out the police academy which was very mentally and physically hard. He got injured and I was there every day taking care if him. Aside that we were inseparable every day we spent together, we lived at my house with my family who adored him and also at his own apt, well I went out with his cop friends and their gfs one night bc my ex was working at night so he could not come, I was there with his friends at a 2 step country bar, me and one of the gfs of the cop went to the bar to get a drink, 2 guys came up to us and offered us a drink we took it not thinking anything we didn't even talk to them. Then the guy pulled me to dance a 2 step I went one time around and came back to the group of friends, mind you I did not talk to this man. The other girl I was with kept dancing and her cop bf just stared at her I told him to go get her but he said no, I apologized on my behalf saying that the guy just bought us a drink we didn't even talk to them. He was mad and upset at this, when my ex got to my house to pick me up I was tired and a little sick from the alcohol, he asked me if I danced with anyone and I didn't want to get him mad, bc he is always jealous. So I just no, repetivly. Not wanting to start an argument, but he kept pushing and I finally told him to just leave me alone of he wasn't going to believe me then just ask his friends they know what happend. The next day his friends told him, exactly what idk but he treated me like crap and put me thru hell for 2 weeks, I apologized for lying to him over and over I tried doing nice little things giving him his space, etc then he just flat out broke up with me. He deleted me and my family from Facebook, disconnected his phone off my plan. And wanted to give back all my things I had at his apt, I was shocked and couldn't believe what was happening. I went in a depression, I was seeking god for a way out but no matter what nothing would work, I developed phsoris, I had no contact with him for about 3 weeks until I met up with him one Saturday night I thought we were just going to talk bc I couldn't believe he actually wanted to see me, I was excited thinking maybe he changed his mind and wanted to get back together, I was emotional and we had sex. Taking advantage of my vulnerability, when I would try to talk to him, he would just get mad. I stayed there then the next morning I left, he was being nice with me holding my hand and kissing and hugging me before I left, he txtd me after asking if I was home and if I was feeling ok. I was in a way happy but at the same time felt he just used me. He said it was hard for him not seeing me and it hurt seeing my clothes at his apt and them smelling like me was hard for him, he just threw them away. After that no txt until Monday then he was actually asking me about day. Soon we were talking again in a short txt format, I asked him if sex was all he wanted from me , he said no but to think what ever I wanted. Wed we actually talked face to face and he discribed how much I hurt him bc I lied, and if I did anything else I said no, not have I ever, and told him that I stopped drinking bc my dad was just diagnosed with liver cancer. But didn't believe me, he said that I can't change and if he were to take me back I would change for a week then go back to how I was, idk how I was bc I wouldn't get drunk all the time this just do happens I drank a little too much, we decided that we would take it slow and see what happens. We didn't have sex we just cuddled and watched tv, then sat, he went out and I txtd him" get lots of numbers don't drink to much lol" as a joke bc he always asks me if guys ask for my number? When they don't. After saying that he got mad and said that he wanted to hang out afterwards but that txts like that are rude and annoying. And it made him not want to hang out anymore. I apologized the next day saying it was only a joke, I'm sorry if it came off mean. Then said I thought we agreed to take it slow, then he said that my bs txt doesn't help good job! I apologized again. And didn't hear anything back, next day I txtd hey have a good day. He responded thanks, you too. And nothing since then I figured he didn't want to talk to me its been 2 days and nothing. I feel like I'm back at day one. Depressed crying every min and just feel like he has found another sexual partner. It saddens me that he just used me I never thought he would treat me like this! I just want him to see the good in me and stop his resentment, I want us to be together, bc I feel we had do much together to just throw it away. We talked about marriage kids buying a home our family was so close. I just don't know what to do I want to be able to talk again but I feel if I do he won't respond plz some help