Will things ever be the same again? Am I just overthinking things?

When my friend from college met his wife, he became less available. I adapted, though it was difficult. I met a group of people from another town and got to know them well enough to stay over at theirs on nights out. I made individualised photo calendars for them over lockdown Christmas, they buy me birthday and Christmas presents and I buy them birthday and Christmas presents. Their Whatsapp group amuses me. These people were the best at keeping in touch over lockdown. We had regular quizzes over Facebook. None of my other friends did this. We spend New Years together every year without fail. However, I'm worried that I'm losing them. After lockdown, the milestone birthdays started happening. There'd been one during lockdown, we paid for a joint present, the price was reasonable, but the next one was extortionate. I left the Whatsapp group about the group gift, explaining that I needed to think about the financial commitment with the intention of going back in a couple of days when I'd thought things over, only to get to work to find out a long-term colleague and friend had suffered a stroke. We were a close-knit team at work, so this hit hard plus it brought up lots of things from when my Dad died. I spent the next few days distracted from the group gift and having long emotional conversations with all the ex-colleagues I could think of who knew her. This colleague died in the end, and after the shock I decided to go back to the Admin. of the Whatsapp group and say I was indeed willing to pay for the group gift and explained about my colleague. Now, flowers and cards would be over-the-top for the passing of a working colleauge, but I'd expect a,

If you had 100 things to do today you wouldn’t miss it if 10 didn’t happen. I don’t think you’re independent enough. We all need to believe in ourselves. We need to be alive connecting our senses connecting truth connecting beauty… About ourselves and about life We all have the opportunity to design our path and fill our time with anything and everything that matters to us. School family work responsibilities make us forget that we are our own leaders with CHOICES to fill our lives with. Frank Sinatra MY WAY is a song that might inspire you. Do I have 100 things to do today? No I have perfect vision to grow. Beliefs. I’m always tied to my vision. My own world. Take a piece of paper for each of the following questions and take your time gathering answers. Your entire life fits on a rainbow 🌈 LOVE IS PROTECTION NEEDS BALANCE NEEDS ENERGY NEEDS FLOW NEEDS HEALING NEEDS I AM LIFE IS MY PURPOSE IS And any other questions you think you should have firm beliefs about. Support your life with your own manual… WORDS and ART. It’s time to go HOME