Frustration with teen son

My son is a talented quarterback in American football at his high school. He is also gifted in education. I’d never force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, but he loves football. He has been noticed by over 20 colleges and has invites to camps, but will not complete the college questionnaires when asked by the coaches, will not respond to the coaches requests for camp attendance, etc. I think he is going to miss a grand opportunity if he doesn’t start responding. I regret not having an opportunity such as this when I was his age in my sport. We live in a small rural area, and exposure for sports is practically none. He refuses to tell me what he wants to do after high school other than complete college and work. While he is right to think college football may not happen, my point is why not give the recruiting his all, and at least try. Does anyone have any positive advice for helping break through to my son, have him stop being so down on himself, and and at least try? His days are spent watching everything football on social media, playing football, practicing football, training in the offseason, etc. His coaches have not been helpful with any of the kids. My son is a starter, but the stories from the other kids sound like these coaches don’t really have the vision for any players to go to the next level. My son’s comment that hurt me the most is “it’s not realistic.” It’s not realistic at all if you don’t do the hard work. I don’t want him to have regrets of not trying. I beat myself up everyday because I got lazy and did not try. I got wrapped up in women, work, and I had opportunities at my feet that I did not capitalize on. We have our whole lives to work. I don’t want him to miss an opportunity if it comes about. Once he graduates highschool, it’s over. I think he feels if he is to be noticed the recruiters just appear. It’s not like that at all.

His feet are telling you everything you need to know. If you've already ruled-out dyslexia YOU may not have forced or pressured him to be BOTH (woah!?) academically and athletically top-class - but that doesn't mean HE hasn`t (wasn't) - to make you happy and proud. Boys really want their parents - but at THIS age - especially their dads, to be impressed with them. And if something's happened in the family life to make the kid feel uncharacteristically insecure, then, that needing to please you is inevitable. Not his fault, not your fault - just the way it goes. On top, we have this: "I regret not having an opportunity such as this when I was his age in my sport." Kids are very, very sensitive and would easily be able to 'read/feel' that regret and unspent ambition. My advice would be to lay off completely. He's well aware. Nagging will do nothing. But he has hit the age where he's thinking: do I continue pleasing my mum or has my life got more serious and I need to start pleasing myself and working-out what direction I truly want and need to be headed in? If he's at a crossroads, then, your reminding will just fill him with a sense of emotional-pressure overload and dread, and make him dig his heels in even more (you'll paralyse or badly delay his serious-life-decision-making capability). You've SAID - he's ALSO gifted - GIFTED - in education. For all you know, he needs to miss this opportunity because in actual fact, the grand one awaits somewhere, meaning, if he took this one he'd never meet the one that presents howevermuch straight afterwards....which might have been the ONLY road that took him to (his idea of) success. Stand BACK, typical-parental Control-Freak No. 7 Trillion-and-four, LOL. (I know, I understand, but as long as he's happy in his work and social life, earning enough to save and be secure, then, trust me - THAT is all it'll take to make YOU happy - for him, I mean...less lifelong, parental worry for you.) THAT'S what MY lovely dad always told me, along with this: Never make your favourite, most passionate hobby your work. THINK ABOUT IT... if it's your job of work - you HAVE to do it (and the way others say) - it'll BE Work, no longer your favourite Play. (I was multi-talented like your son...was "supposed" to be, either a concert pianist, a Wimbledon player (scary, aggressive opponent, balls always wedged in the net, LOL) or field-and-track Athlete (record-breaking long distance running, as well as sprinting and practically ever other field-sport), a Fine or Graphic Artist/Designer - or Advertising Copywriter - ...on and on. And it made my early life VERY difficult - FAR too much choice. (Techy bit: means your ancestral genes are very rich and got passed through zillions of generations before they 'hit' you then your son. Hey-ho - my son is multi-multi-talented as well, so nor is HE doing the thing he finds most fun and engrossing of-all; he's using his SECOND-favourite. That way, he's got work he enjoys and leisure-time he enjoys. Ta-daa. Your unspent ambition might be a case of THE SAME. Maybe you weren't supposed to. Maybe, only NOW. Er - sports COACH, anyone??? For the local Scouts, even? (Separate your own crossroads from your son's, IOW.) Lastly but definitely not leastly (by the sounds)... "I don’t want him to have regrets of not trying. I beat myself up everyday because I got lazy and did not try. I got wrapped up in women, work, and I had opportunities at my feet that I did not capitalize on. We have our whole lives to work. I don’t want him to miss an opportunity if it comes about. Once he graduates highschool, it’s over. I think he feels if he is to be noticed the recruiters just appear. It’s not like that at all." Yuh. And if you HADN'T trod that whole path - NO MULTI-TALENTED (ADVANCED/"OLD SOUL") SON - one who can't NOT, with so many briliantly shiny facets, be impressively capable of becoming a star in WHATEVER he chooses - HE...chooses - to do (literally, whatever). It's not your choice, it's not your control. But you could always set the example by being seen to investigate coaching or something else related...you never know, he might "monkey-see = monkey-do", especially if it's HIM you to go for advice about it! (Boxing Clever, this is called.) Try it, Sam-I-Am - I'm really good at this sh*t, too. ;D (Yeah, I know...I'm so jammy I even annoy myself, hahaha.)

Sorry, I meant to get rid of 'ruled out dyslexia' after I read he was good academically. See - not perfect. Just perfect at TRYING to be perfect. And then, only because I enjoy it....testing myself and my limits, competing only against MYSELF (like your boy). Diff/all the diff. :)

PS: My son is a distinct Upgrade on me - as it should be - as will yours be (or we wouldn't evolve). I'm so impressed and in awe of his business skills, I can't even put it into words! Let him impress you and show you what Upgraded You looks like. You don't know...he might want to be a sports coach as a leisure-time pursuit AS WELL as whatever WORK-work he does. Be honest...He doesn't sound like he needs any help or legs-up, anyway, does he. He's not doing what you're telling him to do, for starters, is he. And that takes not only balls but a super-sensed conviction that something else, something better is about to walk in. (Don't even forget the third mover-and-shaker in life: Fate...events from left-field (scuse pun).

HAHAHA - sorry, I also put Mum (don't ask me why - too much on my mind, too many posts)! Haha - sorry, "DAD"!