Am I over thinking things

So a new neighbour has moved in next door. I’ve Only heard her voice not seen her face but I think she might be quite young. You can hear her when she’s in going up the stairs and shutting doors. The houses are terraced do all close together and you can hear if so robe is in next door. This house was empty for a year and it was nice not having anyone live there snd not have to worry who was living there. Now I suffer with anxiety and I dont know if I am over thinking things. This woman’s car is parked quite close to our drive way because of how the houses are built and my husband parks by our fence. When he gets out of the car he can see her kitchen window because of where he parks his car. She had now put a net up so you cannot see if she is on her kitchen like you could before. I don’t know if my husband has seen this woman. He has said he is not interested who’s living there yet he has looked over into her window before she put the net up and he looks out of our bedroom window and I think it’s to see if her car is there. He has also looked up at her bedroom when she has had the lights on. She has not put a net in her bedroom. I think he wants to see her. I don’t know if it’s all in my mind but I think he wants to see what she looks like. Now there’s nothing wrong in seeing who has moved in and I cannot tell my husband not to look at her but this woman might think my husband might like her and ok there are nice looking women out there but when your married you should not keep looking at someone. I’m worried he is looking to see her and what’s worst for me is that I’m even worried it could be someone he knows from the past. It would be one in a million chance you might get a ex living next door to you but it has crossed my mind. I can’t control him and he knows I suffer with anxiety. When I’ve said to him, is she in when I have saw him looking out of the window he says he is not looking and looking at other cars around our way but I know he is lying. Why does he want to see if her car is out there. Do you think he wants to look at her so much and see if she’s young and pretty and she might be interested in him if she keeps looking at him. My husband used to deny he looked at other women then he admitted he did. It’s not nice being out with him snd he spots a nice looking women and keeps looking not thinking what he is doing to me or not caring and respecting me. I look myself at men but don’t keep doing it like he does. My sister once said to me, Doesn’t he stare. I knew she was right and felt embarrassed. I’m not to bad to look at but I know I don’t stand out in a crowd and neither would he. He is grey, pop bellied and average height. Trouble is I like the way he looks now then when I met him and I love him even thou he has hurt me by looking at these women and not bothered me being next to him. Maybe I think that he will run off with some other women and she will have everything i never did. He is 58 I am 54.

Hi Fishy, I haven't read ahead (I want my gut to have first dibs)... "So a new neighbour has moved in next door. I’ve Only heard her voice not seen her face but I think she might be quite young. You can hear her when she’s in going up the stairs and shutting doors. The houses are terraced do all close together and you can hear if so robe is in next door. This house was empty for a year and it was nice not having anyone live there snd not have to worry who was living there." So you were a bit spoiled, then. "Now I suffer with anxiety and I dont know if I am over thinking things." Aww. You have my full sympathy. Are you on any Anxiolitics? And how long for, so far? "This woman’s car is parked quite close to our drive way because of how the houses are built and my husband parks by our fence. When he gets out of the car he can see her kitchen window because of where he parks his car. She had now put a net up so you cannot see if she is on her kitchen like you could before." Fairenoughski. She might be a 'wander round in her bra and knickers type'. "I don’t know if my husband has seen this woman. He has said he is not interested who’s living there yet he has looked over into her window before she put the net up and he looks out of our bedroom window and I think it’s to see if her car is there." Why's he doing that? Because you've brought her to his attention? "He has also looked up at her bedroom when she has had the lights on." Define 'looked up at'. What - stood looking for a good few minutes or just glancing up before walking from car to front door? "She has not put a net in her bedroom." OH. "I think he wants to see her." Other way round, surely? "I don’t know if it’s all in my mind but I think he wants to see what she looks like. Now there’s nothing wrong in seeing who has moved in and I cannot tell my husband not to look at her" Okay - good starting reference noted. :) "but this woman might think my husband might like her and ok there are nice looking women out there but when your married you should not keep looking at someone." You're going to have to be far more specific about how often and for how long he looks up at her. And - what can be seen from his usual position(s)?...what do you see if you do it? And is your husband a bit blatent about it? I mean - how hard would it be to snatch looks at her WITHOUT it coming to your attention? And where were you positioned the first, second, third times you noticed him looking? "I’m worried he is looking to see her and what’s worst for me is that I’m even worried it could be someone he knows from the past. It would be one in a million chance you might get a ex living next door to you but it has crossed my mind." Well, if it's crossed your mind it might be because all the incoming sensory data on that score - and possibly others? - no matter how subtle and elusive, still act as jigsaw pieces that suggest an end picture (sense?). Or it might be you're feeling insecure. But then, if he's GAWKING at her or doing it deliberately in-front of you - that'd make ANY spouse insecure, wouldn't it. So - which? "I can’t control him and he knows I suffer with anxiety. When I’ve said to him, is she in when I have saw him looking out of the window he says he is not looking and looking at other cars around our way but I know he is lying." So he's looking and lying about it. Okay. Those jigsaw pieces aren't so subtle/tiny, then, are they. Why's he doing that? Is he secretly insecure over you and wants you feel less secure to level the 'playing field' or...? "Why does he want to see if her car is out there. Do you think he wants to look at her so much and see if she’s young and pretty and she might be interested in him if she keeps looking at him." I don't know. Has he actually seen her face, enough to recognise? Is she dressed when in the bedroom? What time of night is it? "My husband used to deny he looked at other women then he admitted he did." AH! New context. "It’s not nice being out with him snd he spots a nice looking women and keeps looking not thinking what he is doing to me or not caring and respecting me." If you've told him you notice every time and that it bothers you and HE STILL DOES IT, REGARDLESS, then - yep - Houston, you have a problem (i.e. him). AND you're suffering from anxiety (i.e. stress coming to a head!), you say. Gosh. We wonder why. DO we wonder? Or is it obvious but you can't bring yourself to define the elephant-in-the-room, meaning, I've had to? Insensitive pig. sorry, but he is; there's no other word for that bad behaviour. And to keep doing it, KNOWING you're ALREADY suffering (- SU-FFER-ING!)? Nah-nah-nah. Whether he's insecure over you - or wants you insecure over him without-a-cause - It's put your foot down time (down onto HIS at this rate!). "I look myself at men but don’t keep doing it like he does." Yeah. Don't worry - I get it. And, I bet these 'babes' wouldn't even look twice at him - correct? (Beergut?) (I can tell what generation he is, as well as type...raised by emotionally/femininity-clueless dads to believe in the 'treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen nonsense that always-always backfires on them...idiots.) "My sister once said to me, Doesn’t he stare." AAAND you have a reliable witness! Case closed! "I knew she was right and felt embarrassed." WHY? Is he your kid and you should have taught him better? This is not a reflection on you. Well, not in the way YOU think it is. It means, to him, YOU'RE the babe (and he's Shrek) (his perception). "I’m not to bad to look at" There you go! But no - you're more not too bad to look at. You've probably got brilliant vibes as well - charisma even. You ever watched yourself on film? Or chatted to yourself in a large mirror so you can see what you're like *animated*? It's very eye-opening - try it. Normally, you see, we look at ourselves in the mirror to shave/put on make-up and don a waxwork dummy face, which is a million miles away from what we're like with other people (it's about how OTHER MEN see you - not how you do). Correction: You're Good-Looking AND Attractive. "but I know I don’t stand out in a crowd and neither would he." Oh - there you go, haha! "He is grey, pop bellied and average height." See? - knew it! (Does annoying Toldjaso Dance ;)) "Trouble is I like the way he looks now then when I met him and I love him even thou he has hurt me by looking at these women ((whilst)) not bothered me being next to him. Maybe I think that he will run off with some other women and she will have everything i never did. He is 58 I am 54." But you look a lot younger than him - right? WHEN DID THIS BEHAVIOUR OF HIS START? Inner secret and giveaway that'll explain it all: If you're too busy worrying about who HE'S looking at, and why...and FEELING INSULTED, DOWN, ANXIOUS.... *you* won't notice how many men are oogling you as they walk by, WILL you ("No, I won't, Soulmate"). There ya go. Case Closed. Solutions Menu: A. Naughty Toddler Training B. Ignore it and him, and be wholly attentive to your surrounding and all the male interest. :) PS: Yeah...married to Son Of Dinosaur - *I'd* be anxious by now as well. I hope he has many more redeeming features? Do tell?

Oh - PS: Mrs Next-Door isn't interested and doesn't like it. Hence - net curtain. Probably, you can't see anything below her head from the ground floor, hence, no need up there. But try it and report back, anyway, Soldier - yeah?

PPS: If you're applying make-up/lipstick in the car passenger seat, does he whoops-go over a bump or a pothole? Also - why the suspicion she might be his ex? Just because of the seeming OVER-interest? OR are the looks between them (or his face) 'loaded'?

Or is he loading his gaze deliberately, too...due to the fact - irrespective of your anxiety - you're still too radiant? PPPS: another thing they do (from that skanky jar of 'magic' worms of theirs) is never tell you you look lovely/beautiful/hot. Correct?

...I don't think they're exes, though. It's just him cranking it up (hamming it up, more like!) atop of the fact - it's more threatening when the woman is 'accessible', isn't it, as opposed to street-passers-by. Have you lost weight due to the Anxiety?