Upset

I like to buy nice things for the home. I’m very materialistic and I like to buy orament, plants and little things to make it cosy. I recently bought a new plant and ok it’s just some plants but my husband did not even noticed them. I had to show him and he even thought one of the plants was one that was there before. I just wanted him to notice it and say it was nice. Ok I like these things snd I know men are not that interested in stuff for the home but I’m making the home nice for us both. He does notice my hair when I get it done so that’s a good thing but am I being filly fit him not caring or noticing. I’m spending my money. On the home on these things not him.

Maybe he actually dont care as much as you do for material things? I used to be just like you 5 years ago. Maximise the aestetics by things. Then i became a minimalist for the environmental protection causes and i stopped buying, donated and sold more than 70% of all my stuff. Now i have a clean and minimalistic home BUT the things i choose is warm, cozy and its really homie in my home. I have to mini sofas in orange velvet, a white dining tables, two white long closets that fits all my clothes (i have around 30 pieces + 5 pairs of shoes + socks and underwear *per season) I dont have a lot of stuff, three small plants, a cupboard for my dishes a drawer for my cutlery, airfryer, nespresso mashine, microwave, computer, fan, heatfan for winter, phone, blender and a lamp. Thats it for devices

"I like to buy nice things for the home. I’m very materialistic and I like to buy orament, plants and little things to make it cosy. I recently bought a new plant and ok it’s just some plants but my husband did not even noticed them. I had to show him and he even thought one of the plants was one that was there before. I just wanted him to notice it and say it was nice. Ok I like these things snd I know men are not that interested in stuff for the home but I’m making the home nice for us both. He does notice my hair when I get it done so that’s a good thing but am I being filly fit him not caring or noticing. I’m spending my money. On the home on these things not him." That's not being materialistic, FGHUUT, that's called being House Proud and thinking & functioning like a healthy woman or home-owner should, so, good on ya! Who's kept calling it materialistic? You spend YOUR money on making the home that's his as much as yours (presumably?) look beautiful?...and presumably clean and shiny (the two tend to go hand-in-hand)...whereby, he could bring any friend or work colleague back on the spur of the moment, and feel proud (instead of having to say, Scuse the mess)?...especially as a loved house is "women's flowers" to her man/family? Air, how verray dhaaare hyou! That's your husband's failure/inadequacy, not yours. Course he notices them - he ain't blind?! He obviously cares about how YOU look, but, because it's not important to Bagpuss, then it shouldn't be important to his 'friends', either (rolls eyes). It's called non-compassionate and inability (or refusal?) to relate. And on your part: Nesting instinct (whether or not you've got kids). So YOU function well, then? Now back to Mr WTF-Is-His-Problem, from Unappreciativeville, Self-Centredton... Mildly, but, still... And what's all this, having to use your own money business? Own money?? Spill, please...don't like the sound of that at all. Unless you have an arrangement whereby you both direct-debit your (proportionate?) half into the bill-paying and savings joint account and are left with the same amount each as disposable income in your private current accounts? What's the arrangement there? And is it/was it ever an arrangement or did you tie the not without a sit-down meeting about such 'materital infrastructure' in order to ensure you were financially compatible? Let's make sure about the former issue... "I had to show him and he even thought one of the plants was one that was there before. " So even though he undoubtedly could tell (from X no. of previous such occasions) why you were asking/presenting the new plants - he STILL didn't provide any signs of appreciation and instead DEFENDED himself for not noticing by saying he thought one of them Could you regurgitate the narrative and dialogue between you, please, starting with whatever you said to draw his attention to your new (quite minor!) embellishments? Doesn't need to be verbatim, but as much as you remember, or, how he made you FEEL he had said. Already, I feel like, if I were his spouse, I'd have left the pots on his side of the bed and said, 'NOW do ya like them!' and in my head ('ya miserly fecker'). It's mean. And that's that. Does he give a sh*t? Or is he always worried about money?...and that's why you're using your (presumably) disposable income on joint marital necessities, like GOOD HOUSEKEEPING? (Bah!) (Thoughts quickly turn to potted plants (babies lol).....Sounds gorgeous. A home doesn't feel homely without them. He's a lucky ucker. AND MAYBE HE KNOWS IT AND THAT'S THE-sorry, HIS PROBLEM?? Dan-dan-daaaaan....!) PS Kindness: Orange velvet sofas....Oooooooh, nnnnice! "Thats it for devices" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, of course - what else could there be? ;) (Cheers for the giggle)

(Tsk! - Knot. My K dropped off.)