Two problems

I have two problems I would like answering please. The first one is my husband who had come home from work and came up stairs to see me. He gave me a kiss and a few touches here and there. Ive told him I like affection and more hugs, kisses and touches and now he does it more than he used to. I am quite sensitive and wear my heart on my sleeve and after he went out of the room I had a little cry. I had been feeling down and low but had not told him. He went down stairs and I went down a few minutes later. He did not say anything to me even when my face was a little red and my eyes were too. I was hurt that he had not noticed I had been crying and he had not asked what was the matter. I told him I thought he would had noticed and say something and he said he thought I was quiet when he came home and when I came down and he saw I was upset he did not say anything. He said he thought it was because he had got home a little later than he had said and I was upset about that. I told him it was not because of that and that I was a bit down. To me it did feel like he did not care and was not bothered I was upset and I was thinking he wasn’t very supportive or there for me. In the past if I had been quiet or upset he has asked me what was wrong. Could it be because I have been like this before that he just thought it better to say nothing or is it because he wasn’t bothered. He is one of them people who doesn’t tell you when he is feeling down himself and has said why tell you how I’m feeling cos it would only get you down and he keeps it in. Is it good to be like that or not? The second problem is my husband never says he wants to take time off because he is fed up or wants to do something different. He has taken all his holidays in the year from work but he never complains that he just wants to get up and not have to worry about phone calls and appointments. It’s mostly me who says about getting away and I want a change from doing the same things and to get away to see somewhere new. Are there many people out there like him who are the same and can just go on day after day and do the same thing. In the week we get out for a meal and cinema and walks and we go for walks at the weekend and we do stay away throughout the year for one night or two here and there. We have holidays as well but I just don’t know how he carries on from one week to the next and next without thinking he would like to do something else for one. I did not travel much when I was younger and being middle age now I find I want to get away and make up for when I younger.

Hey Hey! I hope you are feeling better today. It’s okay to feel down and sad. Some of us are wired like this. Trust me, we are empaths. We feel everything, and it is a gift. Nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, some people lack the ability to show feelings and aren't as emotionally dependent. It isn’t a bad trait either. However, when an empath is in a relationship with someone who is self-sufficient in terms of emotions, it can get very hard. Why? Because we go down the road of thinking that he doesn’t care, or he has lost interest, etc. So, the best way is to have deeper conversations and also notice the patterns. Is he this emotionally unavailable all the time now? Because then we might have an issue. If this doesn’t happen often, then maybe he was giving you some space. Plus, like you said, he doesn’t share much. He might have something on his mind and might not have noticed your situation. I would ask you to give us a bit more details and see if there are any patterns. Secondly, communicate. I always prefer over-communication rather than not saying anything and keeping it inside. Also, try reinforcement. Try reminding him that his words and care mean a lot. Sometimes we really have to tell the other person for them to notice. Lastly, yes, there are people who are okay with monotony. Some of us are change-makers/lovers. We like thrill, problem-solving, and challenges, while others prefer a comfortable and consistent routine/work life. From what I see, you are expressive and he is not. You are adventurous, and he likes consistency. It’s just a clash of personalities. It doesn’t mean that he loves you less. I mean, look, he came home and chose to hug you. That speaks volumes. He was tired, and he finds comfort in being with you. So, just talk and come up with some activities that you would both love to do together. Every relationship has ups and downs. The only thing that matters is if both people in that relationship are willing to talk and understand. I wish you all the best and hope you have a very happy, healthy life. Keep smiling.

Excuse the quick interruption, Jutiope... Hey HHK! Great to see you back again! And cheers loads for being a respondent! How's tricks? (Is your thread still active so you can tell me on there?)