Relationship and self worth Issues

Hi everyone so I am new here and I am going to do my best with staying on topic but my anxiety has me switching directions a lot. My main reason of posting here is because I am having a hard time in life with relationships, its not just one or a "wrong girl" situation, its def me and I would like to talk to like minded people and maybe try new methods, anyways so, My most recent relationship, she is amazing, would give me the world, trustworthy, loving, everything... its hard to find what she offers and has off dating sites and bars lol we lived together for about 3 years, went to many concerts, horror cons etc. we get along great but I have this notion that I want to do all this crazy stuff... like hook up with random woman, go to swinger clubs, strip clubs, I look at porn a lot, I feel like I am trying to live a life that's not good for me and that's unreasonable when I can have so much with her and be happy, yet I have more days when I'm NOT happy … nothing to do with her, maybe its my depression, my anxiety, I think too much and get tired of things so fast … I hate it, so I am a 36 Male 6ft tattooed good looking guy, not being conceded but its not hard to meet woman, besides me being shy and needing a buzz to talk lol, I've always had great woman in relationships but even them it came to a point of … just bored, wanting this lifestyle that is like in movies or something, sometimes I made jokes in life that I would love to be a porn star, why? well besides the obvious who knows … I have come to the point where once again I am on my own and I'm going on dating sites and trying to fill a void or something, meeting new girls and at first its invigorating and fun but then it gets to where there are stale weeks, turns to months and I really think about my ex and how much I gave up but I don't want to run back to hurt her, I want to be that person she deserves, I also have a hard time loving myself, lots has happened in life besides relationship stuff but if anything a great relationship with my best friend should help? it does most days then I get bored, want to go on dating sites for friends at least because I lack those too and males suck as friends (where I am and growing up with backstabbers) Mental health def plays a big role in a lot that I do but I need to find ways too stop letting it control certain things like this, I don't really know what else to say at this moment because I'm all over the place as I said I would be but I know there's a lot more, any questions or if someone wants to talk and has had same issues would be forever grateful! thanks!

Duplicate message to: "BrokenAries" "abercedar" "m&ms" "Jetae" "Wealllmakemistakes" Hi and welcome! Respondents are thin on the ground at the mo. Unless you're happy to wait another day or so for myself or another regular to respond (we're all p/t voluntary), could you please follow traditional forum poster-visitor protocol and, unless you're really not up to it, have a stab at each other's threads first? That would be much appreciated - thank-you. :)

Bumping you up for a bit later today (unless someone else beats me to it)!

Tsk, BrokenAries, I'm so sorry no-one's taken this and that I've been so short on time - let me dive straight in (and I've inserted para breaks to make it easier for others to read and join in with) (hint-hint to them): "Hi everyone so I am new here and I am going to do my best with staying on topic but my anxiety has me switching directions a lot. My main reason of posting here is because I am having a hard time in life with relationships, its not just one or a "wrong girl" situation, its def me and I would like to talk to like minded people and maybe try new methods, anyways so, My most recent relationship, she is amazing, would give me the world, trustworthy, loving, everything... its hard to find what she offers and has off ((of)) dating sites and bars lol" She stands at this point head-and-shoulders above the rest. Noted. " we lived together for about 3 years," Oh, so you mean, your most recent last r/ship - okay. Three years is a good innings if you're still young. How old are you both? "went to many concerts, horror cons etc. ((sorry - what, etc?)) ", we get along great but I have this notion that I want to do all this crazy stuff... like hook up with random woman, go to swinger clubs, strip clubs, I look at porn a lot, I feel like I am trying to live a life that's not good for me and that's unreasonable when I can have so much with her and be happy," You want the Best of BOTH Worlds, then, yes? Or are too young to settle down because you have world-exploring still to do on that score? Which would you say? " yet I have more days when I'm NOT happy … nothing to do with her, maybe its my depression, my anxiety," I note you say 'my'. Have you been diagnosed and given medication for those (if so, for how long and since when)? " I think too much and get tired of things so fast … I hate it, so I am a 36 " OH. Now I see... "Male 6ft tattooed good looking guy, not being ((conceited)) but its not hard to meet woman," Fairenoughski, but that's just the initial attraction aid - along with clicking Chemistry, compatibility including upbringing, etc. This is about keeping or wanting to keep them. "besides me being shy and needing a buzz to talk lol, I've always ad great woman in relationships but even them it came to a point of … just bored, wanting this lifestyle that is like in movies or something," It's called, Ambition. Your case - for your age - it sounds unfulfilled thus banked-up. "sometimes I made jokes in life that I would love to be a porn star, why? well besides the obvious who knows … I have come to the point where once again I am on my own and I'm going on dating sites and trying to fill a void or something, meeting new girls and at first its invigorating and fun but then it gets to where there are stale weeks, turns to months and I really think about my ex and how much I gave up but I don't want to run back to hurt her, I want to be that person she deserves," IOW, you're not over your Ex and believe she was "the One that Got Away" - correct? " I also have a hard time loving myself," Got to understand what it comprises before you can succeed. List everything you can think of under self-care/loving yourself. "lots has happened in life besides relationship stuff" Yeah, I can tell. What went wrong with your Ex? "but if anything a great relationship with my best friend should help? it does most days then I get bored, want to go on dating sites for friends at least because I lack those too and males suck as friends (where I am and growing up with backstabbers)" JOIN THE CLUB! And I don't just mean me, I mean EVERYBODY HERE (bar 1% - legal, work, health). "Mental health def plays a big role in a lot that I do but I need to find ways too stop letting it control certain things like this," No, you need to locate it, grab it, unravel it, burn it. " I don't really know what else to say at this moment because I'm all over the place" You might feel it but your opening post was very well-structured and ordered, actually (and I can say that because neither am I conceited hahahaha)... as well as a bit TOO Gestalt-y if you ask me (taking too much responsibility as if the fault lies with you when it's the REACTION of others' faults that lies at the core of all this....like I say, welcome to the club. " as I said I would be but I know there's a lot more, any questions or if someone wants to talk and has had same issues would be forever grateful! thanks!" Start from the very first betrayer you can recall and remember? Dat's how der do id, Judy! Get it all in front of you where you can see how it led you to 'here'. Nah - good post! What are your tattoos of? Just being nosy. :) (Again - soooo sorry for the wait - it's never been quite this long before!)

(Trust me, though - it ain't just Males! - do WHAT - don't make me laff!)

First things first, slow down with watching porn. That could be the problem that's creating all the others. For many, watching porn can sometimes give you desires that could be unrealistic and could become a problem in a situation such as yours. Men are very visual, and when we see something that catches our attention to where we began to lust after it, it can cause us to want to indulge. People are selfish in nature and having a "good girl" isn't going to make those desires go away if you're entertaining yourself with too much of that kind of temptation. If you're going to do something, always remember to do it in moderation. Too much of anything can be bad for you and cause an unhealthy obsession that will make you act in ways that can jeapordize what's most important to you. Don't lose that good girl, because they are hard to find in a world like ours.