I don't love him like I used to, have I committed too much to leave?

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 1/2 year (we'd know each other longer before that too) and recently I've been feeling like I may have made the wrong decision in dating him. I would ask for a break or break or off but we've bought a house together and we have two dogs together and financially he supports us more. I could do it on my own but honestly the thought of leaving and potentially not seeing the dogs we have (I'm very attached) is a bit much for me to think about. He's a lovely person. He's just not for me, he's pretty immature and kind of self focused to a fault. I'm always an afterthought and his wants and needs are priority over mine so I have to be blunt when I want something and it turns into me being too bossy. I'm left doing so much for him and he has no flexibility for me. We've been so close for such a long time and my heart breaks to think about it, or to think about him being sad, he is very devoted to me and tells me how lucky he is, but I don't feel that lucky. Is it worth staying in a stable secure home with a man who loves me? Have I got anything to even complain about?

Plenty go through these issues & some people sit down & talk it through & tweak it so it does work but not everyone ends up happy after doing so. It's mainly people with kids who adjust & stay together. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself if this man shares your values & knows your language of love intimately & no guessing etc etc. Yeah Ok, 2.5 years & you're committed with real estate & the four legged 'kids', but if you're not happy, you probably wouldn't have to look for the reason(s). You do, however, have to act on it & if you walk, you have to walk away with your head high knowing you've done the right thing. Any doubts & it's probably not the right thing to do. If your gut says yes then all OK, if it doesn't then listen to it carefully. Not everyone will agree but even if he agreed to change for you, it'd be hopeless. There's a couple of things that stand out in your post & that's; he's still your BF even after buying a house together & you don't mention your love for him..

Honey if you know that this man isn't for you, why are you with him? I know you have grown an attachment to the dogs and you're comfortable with him but you're avoiding the inevitable. It isn't going to last, and the longer you wait the harder it's going to be to leave the situation. It can also turn very toxic if you stay knowing that it's not really meant to be. Spare yourself the extra heartache and get out now before it gets too bad.

Hello GoldenWattleBird, No expert in the field of love but I can perhaps give you some food for thought. Sort of like a pros & cons list. I always get so confused when referring to relationship time lines. Why? Because time doesn't seem to factor in at all. Examples: My Nanna & Gran were 63 years married and only death put an end to their magic. They'd known each other only 10 days before they married! My Mum & Dad married after knowing each other only 18 months and the Honeymoon showed that it was not a match made in heaven when he hit her for the first time & locked her in the bathroom. 17 years and 3 kids later he finally left the relationship. I always wondered why she stayed. Destroyed five people's lives. Myself. Eight years all up. 5 dating & just under 3 married. We were too young! I chose him because he was the least likely guy to ever hit me. Laid back. Easy going. I was quickly bored with him. You couldn't spar with him or debate or anything. There was no spark. Just plodding along. Flat. He was excessively 'selfish'. Went out all the time leaving me home alone. Was in heaps of sporting clubs and said it was his freedom time so wouldn't allow me to tag along. So he was hardly home or with me. That built resentment. Even though his mouth was saying 'you are the greatest, I love you so much, if you ever cheated on me I'd be devastated'. Well his actions spoke louder than his words. It becomes a faux relationship if he takes off and does his own thing constantly. I filled my void with a baby. NOT A SMART MOVE! Warning Danger: Once a child comes into the situation then it is even harder to break out of. So your 2.5 years time together is no factor. Perhaps you are seeing him be a bit too 'selfish', 'thoughtless'. Perhaps you are bored. Perhaps you need to get the spark back or perhaps there wasn't ever really a spark to begin with? However, if in this time frame you've grown restless you have to ask yourself how am I going to be content 'forever' with him. Until death us do part is a long haul. It is so confusing isn't it? Find a nice guy they say. Find a safe guy they say. Find a guy who isn't forceful or aggressive they say. Find a guy whose kind they say. Find a guy who helps with the chores. So much more. Basically we are designed to want a 'Super Man'. This being said though nobody will ever be perfect. Human beings are hopelessly flawed. But staying because he's a 'good guy' is kind of you but not fair to either of you in the long run. Staying because of the dogs is like staying because of the kids. I know I have a dog I'm besotted with. Could never leave her. Love her more than any human I've ever interacted with. Perhaps you love the dogs more than your fella? Just do that pros & cons list because once you take action (either way) it impacts your future and is rarely able to be reversed. Wondering should I go or should I stay is hard. I feel for you. All the best and perhaps let the forum know how you are getting along and your decision. Soulmate (Moderator and Advisor Extraordinaire) is an amazing person. So much insight. Super busy. I hope you get to discuss this situation with Soulmate whom I call 'The voice of reason'.

Any update on your situation, Golden?