Scared about being exposed

I was 16. I am a male. It was summer vacation, and I was so lonely that I wasn't happy. I decided to install multiple friend-making apps in the style of Tinder, where you swipe left or right on people. This specific app has a chat room where people of all ages who are registered can chat. I clicked through the profiles of whoever was chatting and found a girl with the same nationality as me, different city, 13 years old. I added her. I don't remember the messages I had there, but I know that she asked for my Instagram. The very first message from me on Instagram was "weird way to propose but ok" joking because she requested my Instagram. One other message I remember sending her, was a supposedly "D pic", but I'm not the type of guy to send nudes, so I sent her something completely different. The next message from me was "when I turn 18", joking that I would send her one when I turn 18. These are the only weird messages I remember sending. The rest was just chatting about random subjects. I did not request any inappropriate pictures of her, or anything sexually related. More stupid jokes? probably. One day, I had to go to her city with a friend cause he wanted to purchase a pair of headphones from there. We separated and he went his way to the guy with the headphones. I was talking with her, and she told me that we could meet inside a store to say hi to each other. I agreed, I went there, met her, stayed for only 2 minutes and left. When leaving, I noticed her parents were outside the store, waiting for her to check out. (She sent me pictures of her parents for whatever reason before; that's how I knew who they were. I don't think they knew that their daughter was talking to me) After that, I went to meet my friend. I only met her once. I think that we were friends for about 1 month or even less. One day I blocked her out of the blue on all social media, realizing that I was in the wrong for talking to a 13-year-old. I also deleted the Instagram conversation on my end. Now, I have anxiety that my life and future could be ruined by this. Seeing all these famous content creators get canceled for talking to minors has me scared. I had absolutely no intentions of dating her. We were just friends. Now, this is what I am most scared about: People reacting to our friendship. Our laws in my country state : "Sexual intercourse committed by a minor with another minor under the age of 14 is sanctioned according to the provisions of art. xx" "The facts provided for in the previous paragraph are not sanctioned if the age difference between the perpetrator and the victim does not exceed 5 years." We did NOT have any kind of sexual intercourse. But I am scared of her lying and whatnot. I'm also scared because I can't fully remember what I talked about with her on Instagram (aside from the messages I mentioned earlier, and I'm pretty 99.9% sure I didn’t send her any love messages), as I don't have the chat anymore. This means that she could edit my messages, and I wouldn't be able to prove that I didn't say certain things or that my messages could be taken out of context. I want her to confirm that I haven't said or done anything inappropriate toward her. Legally, I know I'm safe, but it's the moral aspect that is stressing me out. I've learned my lesson and will choose friends who are my age. I am overthinking about this for no reason and I cannot stop. I was also thinking about going to a therapist. I would like opinions. Thank you.

Duplicate message to: "BrokenAries" "abercedar" "m&ms" "Jetae" "Wealllmakemistakes" Hi and welcome! Respondents are thin on the ground at the mo. Unless you're happy to wait another day or so for myself or another regular to respond (we're all p/t voluntary), could you please follow traditional forum poster-visitor protocol and, unless you're really not up to it, have a stab at each other's threads first? That would be much appreciated - thank-you. :)

Bumping you up for a bit later today (unless someone else beats me to it)!

Hi there! I will try to answer to your message, the best I can. You are 16 and she is 13. What you did was totally wrong, but let's say that it was your hormones who messed up with your brain and decision making abilities. If you did "only" what you described here, you might have problems, both of being exposed or some more serious ones if she reports you to authorities. If that happens you will have to face the consequences, but I think that being a young teenager yourself, affected by hormonal changes typically caused by puberty, that will bring you some mitigating circumstances. I am a little bit confused about why did you block her and deleted all the messages with her? From your message she looked friendly, inspite of your initial inappropriate behaviour. On the other hand if you harassed her in any way and she reports you or expose you publicly, you will have to deal with much serious consequences. You know the best what you did and how far you went. Sometimes an sincere apology to her AND her parents may solve the kind of problem you caused. But if you caused emotional pain to this girl, you will have to put up with everything that may come up. And yes, I would look for proffesional help, because killing boredom or curing loneliness by sending messages (and some dirty ones) to rendom people on the internet is not the best way to deal with it. There are hundreds other, better ones ways to do so, to meet new people, new girls, to get rid of excessive energy through sports, arts, various curriculum activities. Sorry, I don't want to shame you, I know you already feel ashamed more than you'd like. That is not my goal. This is the best way I am trying to help you. However, if it is really about for what you wrote here I don't think anyone is going to be too harsh on you.

There's nothing to report to the authorities since I haven't done anything illegal. I considered sending her a message to clarify that I didn't do anything wrong towards her, but I'm worried it might come across as strange. I would prefer asking someone else to send a message on my behalf.

Don't worry, ABECEDAR - you're right that you didn't do anything wrong, nor possessed any wrong intent. (I read it that Zara was just giving you hypothetical scenarios for your general information.) You just (big deal) at the time were lonely and desperate enough for a friend, that you considered a 13-year-old better than nothing. Obviously, from what I understand counts as a 'D' picture, you didn't send anything remotely inappropriate. And you only spent 2 minutes saying Hi and Bye to her anyway. We live and learn. So all you're left with is: you NEARLY made a friend that was a bit young for you and could possibly - possibly not - raised a few eyebrows, but opted out (I suppose seeing her in the flesh really brought home to you the age difference?). And now you have this 'confession' (about a mere, potential mis-impression) on here. Plus - wouldn't Instagram and these other social-introduction apps have a cache? Don't they have to keep one by law? I wouldn't worry. I doubt she's given it another thought. And you might not have been the only one she was in contact with. Plus, you're not (I presume) famous or planning on becoming famous? How long ago was this, anyway?

This happened a little over a year ago. It could be that at my age, my emotions are all mixed up, and I don’t know what to think. I’ve recently been to a therapist, and they told me that it’s only my anxiety making me feel scared. We’re working to resolve this. Thank you!

Hey, have you had Covid? From what I can tell - it can trigger it. Or could it have been all that thinking and "Waking" (or is it Woking??) during the Lockdowns? Or both and then some?

It's an utter nightmare, isn't it, Anxiety Disorder. SUCH a minimizing label as well. ...Anxiety. PFFFF! *Anx-bloody-iety?* TERROR, more like! Petrificiation! Paralysis! Something that feels very like loneliness and isolatedness, but isn't. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (if I had one) (abusive Narcissists aside, haha, they're everyone's bloomin' enemy and usually what bloody causes it! Don't get me started). Anyhoo - you're most welcome, young, lovely-mannered Sir. :)