What should I do in situation like this?

Hi! I got very upset with what might seem not a big issue for the most of the people, but however it seems that it was big enough to me to make me ask for advice. In March this year I have had a high school reunion after many years and it happened that several of us wanted to keep seeing each other so we started going out once or twice a month eversince. By now we met each other about 15 times, I guess we all got to the point where we can allow ourself to be more relaxed around each other. We also have a Viber group where we chat from time to time, making jokes most of the times. One of the friends in the group, let's call her Sonya, I have had issue some ten years ago,when she mocked me for my modest cell phone and my old but favorite leather backpack. I'm an artist and I am pretty much relaxed over material things, I don't mind to have new branded things, but I also don't mind if other people do mind. But when she mocked me for that I was really shocked, told her that I can't believe what snob she is and immediately ended any contact with her. Well, now she's in this group, I decided to assume that she might have changed and I decided to act as if nothing happened. But it seems that she didn't forget and once she tried to talk about that, but her first words were that now she knows why I brushed her off and according to her it was because of my inferiority complex (she didn't tell that explicitly, but btw the lines and after her tirade about our other classmate, who got very successful in life, but Sonya was trashing her by talking about her "poor" social background and that she was jealous of her because of her.. inferiority complexes)...!? Since there was the third person with us that day I told her that I don't want to talk about that. But I figured out that not just that she doesn't feel any regrets about her mocking me, she was furious about me brushing her off and she tried to get me to apologize to her.. Well, finally here's what happened. It seems that she waited her 5 minutes to get her revenge on me. On our Viber group I am always joking and trying to make us laugh. A friend posted something and in Viber notification, before opening the post, I mistakingly red "Her's the photo of golden shower I took last evening." I clicked and laughed loud when I saw the photo of a beautiful sunset and when I realized that he wrote "Her's the photo of golden hour I took last evening!" I felt relaxed enough and I wrote about it in a group, before saying that the photo is beautiful and a friend who made a photo laughed and answered: "Good Lord, now we know what's up in your head!!" But there goes Sonya with a comment that the photo is great and that I am very photogenic as well. Next she posts the absolutely horrifying photo of me from one of our meetings I explicitly begged her not to post it. Last few years, eversince I entered perimenopause I am fighting obesity and I generally don't like being photographed, but this one was really bad because it made me look ten times fatter than I really am. Actually, I don't really care for the photo. But I do care why she had to put me down this way. However I didn't want to show this bothered me, but it completely made me not wanting to socialize any further wherever she is. From one side I don't want to give her the satisfaction of giving her any reaction, but from the other side I'm afraid she will get it as my weaknesses and that she's having a green lights to bully me whenever she wants. What should I do? Please, note that she made me look as if I told something bad about our friends photo and that she had to defend him by making fun of me.

Oh, Zara! You got missed, somehow! Oh, cripes - poor you - SORRY! AND you typed some responses! I'll do it right now... And I'll make it up to you. :) (Not reading ahead, just sentance-by-sentance)... "I got very upset with what might seem not a big issue for the most of the people, but however it seems that it was big enough to me to make me ask for advice." Most of the people aren't having to deal with your problem so - we're not concerned what others think. Unless it's helpful. But, that won't happen here because everyone here is whatever degree of Empath and can relate to anything. So no worries! :) "In March this year I have had a high school reunion after many years and it happened that several of us wanted to keep seeing each other so we started going out once or twice a month eversince. By now we met each other about 15 times, I guess we all got to the point where we can allow ourself to be more relaxed around each other. We also have a Viber group where we chat from time to time, making jokes most of the times. " Okay. So in 7 months you've met about 15 times, making it basically twice per month to-date (so another meeting due in the last fortnight of this month). "One of the friends in the group, let's call her Sonya, I have had issue some ten years ago,when she mocked me for my modest cell phone" Oh, earwigo... (Jealous & Resentful & Mean, and Superficial, much?) QUESTION: And would you, today, be more inclined to say something sassy back, like - 'Yes, well, I can't afford my private helicopter AND a flashy mobile', before walking off? How old was she? And what age would YOU, secretly, have put her at back then? (Sonya..... Sounds a lot like, Soilya and Sodya, doesn't it.) "and my old but favorite leather backpack." Leather? Blimey! "I'm an artist and I am pretty much relaxed over material things, I don't mind to have new branded things, but I also don't mind if other people do mind." Yes. Not Materialistic. "But when she mocked me for that I was really shocked, told her that I can't believe what snob she is and immediately ended any contact with her." OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! I SAY! WELL DONE! Beats my come-back, that does?! Have a Gold Star on your clever forehead ("thlup!"). VERY impressive. ....Ooooooh....she must have hated you after that? (...her being 'that type', I mean.) AND HELD THAT GRUDGE EVER SINCE, I'M BETTING, EH. Let's read awn.... Oh - first, though - as I have a general idea of her age back then (14, 15, or 16?) - and (obviously) getting the impression this Sodya is your problem (again), i.e. hasn't grown OUT of that playground mentality, then - that's my first symptom tick (TICK!). "Well, now she's in this group, I decided to assume that she might have changed" Yeah. Ya hope. Group (By-Association type TICK!) " and I decided to act as if nothing happened." Noted. It was a long time ago (was it?...how old are you now?). "But it seems that she didn't forget" (TICK!) ((Effing get over it, luv - jeez, it's not even as if you were the one picked on her - she picked on YOU! So, that means, this GIRL is having trouble getting-over a mere one-up-manship that happened years earlier when you were effectively still at school! (TICK-ah!) What - and you had to bring her here, to us? (YES, I'm joking, haha! But - ugh...ew....brr....nnnnot a good sign.) "and once she tried to talk about that," What do you mean 'once'? When - back at high-school or during one of these reunions (which?)? "but her first words were that now she knows why I brushed her off and according to her it was because of my inferiority complex (she didn't tell that explicitly, but btw the lines" HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA! No..... she didn't....OMG.... COURSE you brushed her off. There ISN'T any other reasonable, rational, self-respecting response to someone being so rude, emotionally-bullying and small-minded for no sodding reason, over nothing! Anyway - (TICK!). " and after her tirade about our other classmate, who got very successful in life, but Sonya was trashing her by talking about her "poor" social background and that she was jealous of her because of her.. inferiority complexes)...!?" Was this other poor classmate present and had to listen to this offensive nonsense? Well, anyway - at least we know it's not just YOU she has a problem with? (Or is/was this other classmate more YOUR friend?) UGH...GIANT, ACID AHOLE ALERT! "Since there was the third person with us that day I told her that I don't want to talk about that." Haha. Whoops. But GOOD FOR YOU for not pandering or tiptoe-ing around her puny ego. So in other words - said poor once-classmate WASN'T there. Nor to defend herself. So you had to defend her (GOLD STAR "THLUP!"). "But I figured out that not just that she doesn't feel any regrets about her mocking me, she was furious about me brushing her off and she tried to get me to apologize to her.." Yeah - there you go (Snap!). "Well, finally here's what happened." You threw your Red Wine in her face, saying, 'Since you like 'wining' so much?...' and walked-out in disgust? Or you got your flickknife out, like Zorro, and went - OH YEAH?...WANNA MAKE SUMMINK OV IT, LARFIN' GEW? (Just indulging at her expense, don't mind me, haha.) "It seems that she waited her 5 minutes to get her revenge on me." (Good grief.) "On our Viber group" (Tsk, bloody Nora - another one? I can't keep UP! What's Viber? Is it like Fakebook and Instagram?) "I am always joking and trying to make us laugh." Oh, good, you won't mind my Black-Humoured piss-takes, then. :D "A friend posted something and in Viber notification, before opening the post, I mistakingly red "Her's the photo of golden shower I took last evening." I clicked and laughed loud when I saw the photo of a beautiful sunset and when I realized that he wrote "Her's the photo of golden hour I took last evening!"" HAHA!! (COULD have been a Golden Shower?....if it'd been sunny and drizzling at the same time? ("ting!"...halo)) "I felt relaxed enough and I wrote about it in a group," Well, of course!...share the giggle round! "before saying that the photo is beautiful and a friend who made a photo laughed and answered: "Good Lord, now we know what's up in your head!!" (HAHA - TOUCHE THAT GENTLEMAN!) (stick with him, jeez!) "But there goes Sonya" God, not her again - she gets on my beeps and I haven't even MET her! In fact, I want to lock her in a room with LiveToTell's daughter (have you read her thread?) and see who doesn't emerge at the end of it! Oh, and I've given up Ticking as I go. Every breath and move of this stunted, nutjob bint deserves a Tick, frankly. I want to throttle her already and scream in her face, Wwwwwhat is WRONG with yooooou - SEE A PIGGING DOCTOR ALREADY, JEEE-ZAZ, SPARE US! DON'T YOU REALISE YOU'RE MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY UCKED AND NEED ATTENTION?! Again, I could more understand it if YOU'D been the Antagonistic Ambusher back then and she still a score to settle, but, what you did was FAIR DUES/TOUCHE. ...albeit, this reaction of mine doesn't apply because she's NOT a normal person. She's so crystal-clearly a Plastique Fantastic Mean Girl who literally cannot mentally-emotionally mature (but, which convinces us they're adults like us, CAN do adult executive tasks...ish). MIND YOU... How old is she now? She might not have emerged out of the Natural Narcissistic (Toddler then Teen) phase tunnel yet. (She'd better hurry up though cos she's rapidly running out of time, meanwhile, pissing sane-healthy people off!) What did the third 'girl', that evening, do - anything? Anything to say afterwards or later that night after you'd got home? Anyway, back to "Zombya"... (- that one) "(But there goes Sonya) (Zombya if you don't mind haha) with a comment that the photo is great and that I am very photogenic as well." Which 'I'? Herself or you? If it was you - me, I'd have braced at that point, getting a compliment from HHHHer! ("The Set You Up Before Knocking You Down"). "Next she posts the absolutely horrifying photo of me from one of our meetings I explicitly begged her not to post it." NOW, LOOK AT THAT! and I'm NOT reading ahead. (Type by type and overall - they're all the same, see?) "Last few years, eversince I entered perimenopause I am fighting obesity and I generally don't like being photographed, but this one was really bad because it made me look ten times fatter than I really am." She is disgusting. She is nasty-nasty-nasty-nasty! Definitely evil in a petty way (petty to those who haven't been ensnared with a Covert-COME-Overt, I should add). "Actually, I don't really care for the photo. But I do care why she had to put me down this way." YES! That's the thing: evidence shows you're mostly Slime-Proof, and get upset over INJUSTICE (and cheating, snakelike, etc.) That's a symptom. I'll let Hans Asperger's tell you: "To excel in the Arts and Engineering, a dash of Autism is essential". And you're empathetic. So that makes you....fit to become a Super-Nova Empath Narc-Slayer. (Another one - hurrah!!) You're all coming out now, and it's brilliant! You're definitely a GenZ, aren't you. :) "However I didn't want to show this bothered me, but it completely made me not wanting to socialize any further wherever she is." WELL!...I'd take that as READ! "From one side I don't want to give her the satisfaction of giving her any reaction, but from the other side I'm afraid she will get it as my weaknesses and that she's having a green lights to bully me whenever she wants. What should I do?" What would you want to do if I had a magic wand and could grant it? No holds barred, no matter how unrealistic (we'll fashion it to suit). "Please, note that she made me look as if I told something bad about our friends photo and that she had to defend him by making fun of me." Well, she tried to. But the rest of you aren't THICK. She's just made HERSELF look bad. People aren't failing to pull her up over this shite because they can't see it. It's because they don't want her training their crosshairs on THEM, EITHER. You could put her out of action for a very long time if you wanted (bitch-ability and manipulation skills wise). She's no match for you. She just thinks she is. RsVP?

PS: "I explicitly begged her not to post it." Meme: 'Anything you say to a Narcissist WILL be taken down and used against you later'. I think you should field-experiment with her. For example: If "they're flakey and unreliable" (deliberately turn up late - later than you - by more than 20 mins, and do so every time or just more often than not), it's this: You tell them 7.30 and you get there 7.55 and pretend you've been waiting aaaaages! (They get the ego-kick but NOT at your expense...you, you're chuckling at the subterfuge haha.) Or if they're coming to yours, say, to collect kid for custody weekend but have been turning-up late (which upsets kid), say/text, 'Please don't be earlier than 10 tomorrow because (whatever) and it'll mess me up. Thanks'. Cue arriving on-time. Cue you pretending to be miffed (tut a bit and look at your watch as you open the door to them). You're not the powerless one. SHE is. She CHEATS at power by being an ABSOLUTELY OBNOXIOUS......uh!....too many labels, can't choose... But I know one thing, thanks to that Photo: she is NOT that petty. Because that, my luv, is Sadism, pure and simple. And if they're Sadistic - not just with their mouth but with PROPS(!!!) - doing Covert (acting innocent) WHILST DOING, not just SAYING - they're not just Malignant, but a Narcissistic Sociopath (ohhhhh grreat). That's why I said, Acid. (God. There's always 'someone' who spoils it for the rest, isn't there....can't even reunite with old friends without pigging acid-hassle..... meh.)

Dear Soulmate...THANK YOU!! For taking this much time to read, comment and answer to my post. Well, i AM embarrassed to say that I'm in my fifties, by now I probably should be a mature adult myself and not asking stupid questions like this about problems that is more appropriate to teenagers. But, in my case seems that I didn't managed to get emotionally-proof in spite of the huge life experience which should made me tough enough to this kind of human interaction. Maybe it's because I doubt I am an autistic myself, either that or I am CPTSD person raised by narcissistic mother - I am generally not doing good with people because it always ends up like this - I get disgaussed with someone (people like Sodya) and decide I'm better off alone even if it means having not a single one friend and it happened more than once that I've been in long time friendless periods in my life. Second, I really love your humor, don't worry, you even made me laugh hard few times. Viber is just a plain chat/messaging application, not at all fancy like Facebook and Instagram. After a reunion one of the friends made a group to keep us connected and to make it easier arranging next meetings. But now I realized it can be a great playground for narcissists. You see, I was affraid that maybe I went over the top when I wrote about "golden shower", that maybe it was totally inappropriate, that someone may have been interpret it as a bitchy insult to the beautiful photo and that even made me look like a major bitch so that someone like her had to put me in place by making fun of me in a way she did. But I honestly swear my goal was just to make us laugh. As for Sodya, she's the favorite person in group, tall, beautiful, successful, funny, charming, a leader. Actually, she looks pretty much layed back, cool, authentically silly, sometimes wild, yes, she looks innocent, with baby like face, at least 20 years younger. She does like to be in a center of attention, but she also able to carefully listen to other people. Seems like nothing's wrong with her, I was really afraid that I have problems with my emotional reactions. But after this last event I doubted myself that she might actually be seriously sadistic person. A narcissistic sociopath also popped into my mind. Thank you for clarifying me because I almost got mad from analysing if I got a justifiable punishment from her for "making fun of our friend's photo" or she's a real revengeful psycho!? But than, I think I a normal person would tell me in a normal way that I went over the top, not by making fun of me. The way I feel now is to abandon the whole group because of her but again I don't want to look that much offended by her. Uugh, this message is already inappropriately too long. Sorry about that and for my English, not my first language. And thank you once again ♥️!!

Dear Soulmate...THANK YOU!! For taking this much time to read, comment and answer to my post. Well, i AM embarrassed to say that I'm in my fifties, by now I probably should be a mature adult myself and not asking stupid questions like this about problems that is more appropriate to teenagers. But, in my case seems that I didn't managed to get emotionally-proof in spite of the huge life experience which should made me tough enough to this kind of human interaction. Maybe it's because I doubt I am an autistic myself, either that or I am CPTSD person raised by narcissistic mother - I am generally not doing good with people because it always ends up like this - I get disgaussed with someone (people like Sodya) and decide I'm better off alone even if it means having not a single one friend and it happened more than once that I've been in long time friendless periods in my life. Second, I really love your humor, don't worry, you even made me laugh hard few times. Viber is just a plain chat/messaging application, not at all fancy like Facebook and Instagram. After a reunion one of the friends made a group to keep us connected and to make it easier arranging next meetings. But now I realized it can be a great playground for narcissists. You see, I was affraid that maybe I went over the top when I wrote about "golden shower", that maybe it was totally inappropriate, that someone may have been interpret it as a bitchy insult to the beautiful photo and that even made me look like a major bitch so that someone like her had to put me in place by making fun of me in a way she did. But I honestly swear my goal was just to make us laugh. As for Sodya, she's the favorite person in group, tall, beautiful, successful, funny, charming, a leader. Actually, she looks pretty much layed back, cool, authentically silly, sometimes wild, yes, she looks innocent, with baby like face, at least 20 years younger. She does like to be in a center of attention, but she also able to carefully listen to other people. Seems like nothing's wrong with her, I was really afraid that I have problems with my emotional reactions. But after this last event I doubted myself that she might actually be seriously sadistic person. A narcissistic sociopath also popped into my mind. Thank you for clarifying me because I almost got mad from analysing if I got a justifiable punishment from her for "making fun of our friend's photo" or she's a real revengeful psycho!? But than, I think I a normal person would tell me in a normal way that I went over the top, not by making fun of me. The way I feel now is to abandon the whole group because of her but again I don't want to look that much offended by her. Uugh, this message is already inappropriately too long. Sorry about that and for my English, not my first language. And thank you once again ♥️!!

Be with you as soon as I can, Zara! (I'm in Spain - land of the disorganised and without-warning everything.) (PS: Even the two posts together are a darn sight shorter than Wild Swans or Hitler's Willing Executioners, haha.)

PS: It's not immature and petty and neither are you (ain't your sh*t for a start!). Far from it! It's actually-factually entirely damaging to your psyche and body. So - wash your mouth out! (Try Gin & Tonic.)

HAHA!! I'll take it as: "Yes, your message has been inappropriately long..!!" As for Spain, in that case I hope you are only visiting. But I live in country where the rule you complained about in Spain is a tradition in mine. Thank you again for helping me and you helped a lot already and calmed me down. Otherwise I would be obsessing over the situation with Sonya and lose my sanity.

Hey again, Zara! Thanks for responding to other OPs, MUCH appreciated. ______________________ First-off: No, I meant, I read whole books, doncha know, so your message is actually quite puny (no offence haha). In fact, it doesn't even fill an A4 sheet so wotcha talkin' 'bout? No worries :). 'Walking on Eggshells'/social over-vigilance noted, though. So she's obviously really shocked and discombobulated you. (They do, though. That's why normal-healthies either shouldn't mix with them or should get a leash on them - either/or. Depends on whether you feel you'd rather just way away, or don't see why you should (in which case - I'm with you. SHE should leave. Again, only she is the one behaving like Chucky's sister.) "Well, i AM embarrassed to say that I'm in my fifties, by now I probably should be a mature adult myself and not asking stupid questions like this about problems that is more appropriate to teenagers." Nope - wrong (happily). It's immaterial what age you are. Toxic is Toxic and does damage, regardless. In fact, the older you are and she is (should be), the more of a mind-uck it is (think about it). "But, in my case seems that I didn't managed to get emotionally-proof in spite of the huge life experience which should made me tough enough to this kind of human interaction." Depends on what type (and severity) your previous monsters were. Those that are used to Overts tend to meet a Covert (the best actors and subtle word-twisters of the lot - so good, they don't even need to Love-Bomb, just Nice-Bomb) and not realise it. They feel refreshingly normal....until they don't. So what were your previous like and what type of relationship - friendship/romance/other? "Maybe it's because I doubt I am an autistic myself," No, not "an Autistic" - touch of/Asperger's - and even then, only a touch. But enough to make you more concerned with the WHY rather than the What like that. "either that or I am CPTSD person raised by narcissistic mother - " No because - then you WOULD be taking it personally-subjectively as well as objectively. Plus, you wouldn't be capable of self-asserting against her to that firm degree. Nope. It's just their effect on us. I can still be upset/offended as well (fleetingly but still) - and I should know better. However...our intellect isn't the one aimed for. Our emotional side is. At its most primitive/reflexive. That's the problem. That's why no-one is safe, no matter how much they know. And why NPDs generally, are labelled Emotionally Dangerous. Don't worry a jot about that unflattering picture, though. Nobody cares how you look, they only care how they look - with the exception of, as your friends they want YOU to be happy with how you look (etc.). Plus they know you're slimmer in reality because of knowing you in-the-flesh and/or the pictures you've yourself published. "I am generally not doing good with people because it always ends up like this - I get disgaussed with someone (people like Sodya) and decide I'm better off alone even if it means having not a single one friend and it happened more than once that I've been in long time friendless periods in my life." Not long enough. It takes far longer to recover from a Narc fauxlationship than a normal, healthy one. FAR. You unwittingly quit the 'diet' just that bit too soon. It's a normal part of the post-narc recovery process, being friendless. I was as well. Virtually everyone here is or recently was, too. You realise you've been surrounded and have to clear the decks of all the deadwood, learn to play by yourself again, like you did as a kiddie; give it enough time for it to 'take' whereby loving amusing yourself kicks in; let that become your normal and THEN go out and about, socially, and attract. If you do that too soon, other social bullies and/or predators can smell the slime. Usually the lazy, veteran ones who don't want to have to start from A with another victim thus like the fact another Narc has left them still primed for them (e.g. at H). "Second, I really love your humor, don't worry, you even made me laugh hard few times." Yeah - see. You're not in a bad shape. You just need to do the last 3-6 months of "doing a Greta Garbot" ('I vant to be alon'). And ANYWAY - you DIDN'T attract her/she ISN'T a new one. She's a Leftover. Quite possibly 'the Mother ship', the one that left you slimed and then virtually passed from Narc to Narc. Enough time on your own and you'll never again have any tolerance of bad behaviour (even before the 'explosion' occurs - even just subtle 'sparking'). Because you'll have had enough time to lost that prior conditioned-in tolerance, meaning, you'll be as fully shocked and appalled as someone who's never in their lifetime (so far) had a run-in with one. You can chat with me/other posters, as well as responding (yes please?) as you recover so that you won't feel lonely (and I'm not always this incredibly busy and absent) and can get used to healthy, respectful interactional behaviours again while your self-worth (and said intolerance) grows the rest of the way back. "Viber is just a plain chat/messaging application, not at all fancy like Facebook and Instagram." (Cheers! Given time, I'm sure I'll be calling it Viper - wry LOL) (don't mind Instagram, though). "After a reunion one of the friends made a group to keep us connected and to make it easier arranging next meetings. But now I realized it can be a great playground for narcissists.' Ah! There you go. Yes, unfortunately, social media is rife with them because it deprives you of the full signalling channels via which we assess health and personality, making it easier to dupe people whilst creating a sped-up bond in them. "You see, I was affraid that maybe I went over the top when I wrote about "golden shower"," Naaaaah. "that maybe it was totally inappropriate," Nnnnope. It's called, Amusing. 'Banter, innit'. "that someone may have been interpret it as a bitchy insult to the beautiful photo and that even made me look like a major bitch so that someone like her had to put me in place by making fun of me in a way she did." NAAAAAH! "But I honestly swear my goal was just to make us laugh." I repeat - it would have been clear to everyone. She was just desperate. You're so squeaky clean that the (er) woman is having to MAKE THINGS UP! I see this reported on here ALL THE TIME. Indeed, a Nex of mine had a go at me because - conveniently ignoring the fact I'd rather 'stick needles' than lower myself or prove myself that thick and self-destructive - *one day in the future I MIGHT - or COULD* - cheat. Absolutely ridiculous. They're pathologically jealous of your halo, and the fact you CAN walk the high road, you see... that you DON'T EVEN NEED to cheat at anything. AND YET YOU'RE HAPPY. See, now, how you threaten their (sick) reasoning behind their own modus operandi? ...So basically, she can't stand as tall as nor compete with you, so has to make sh*t up. And BECAUSE it held so over-tenuous a basis - her ¡attempted slander job - it didn't work and never could have. "As for Sodya," Aww? Have I been out-voted? I liked Zombya...said it best (she *is* a Zombie if she's over 50 and (now irreversibly) behaving like a delinquent schoolgirl). Tell you what...You call her Sodya, I'll call her Zombya - deal? :D "she's the favorite person in group, tall, beautiful, successful, funny, charming, a leader. Actually, she looks pretty much layed back, cool, authentically silly, sometimes wild, yes, she looks innocent, with baby like face, at least 20 years younger." Means nothing if she's a bitch and a bully. One's personality and face/body are a team, anyway, despite your insides take time to show themselves on your outsides. If one is secretly nasty... - it's only a matter of time before she victimises or exposes herself to everyone in her circle so - she'll soon end up ugly in everyone's eyes, anyway. "She does like to be in a center of attention," Yes, she's an exhibitionist. "but she also able to carefully listen to other people." Such as - 'I would hate if X happened' or 'I feel so fat already - PLEASE don't put that on Facebook'. As per the meme, they're simply collecting intel as ammunition to use, if ever necessary, at a later date. "Seems like nothing's wrong with her," After those sorts of displays? Are you kidding me?!?? She's a nasty-nasty-nasty-nasty piece of work!...'Super-B*tch' without-a-cause, at very BEST! There's EVERYTHING wrong with her, trust me on that. "I was really afraid that I have problems with my emotional reactions." Definitely not. You could have reacted a lot more explosively; you kept it together very well, considering. "But after this last event I doubted myself that she might actually be seriously sadistic person." YUSS. "A narcissistic sociopath also popped into my mind." Excellent - you've been studying up, then? "Thank you for clarifying me because I almost got mad from analysing if I got a justifiable punishment from her for "making fun of our friend's photo" (nope) "or she's a real revengeful psycho!?" THAT one. Definitely-definitely that one, hahaha. Come ooon - who DOES THAT?! Certainly not genuine adults and definitely not healthy-minded ones. One of their middle names is Unnecessary - or Uncalled-For. "But than, I think I a normal person would tell me in a normal way that I went over the top, not by making fun of me." That too. "The way I feel now is to abandon the whole group because of her but again I don't want to look that much offended by her." No - SHE should leave. You've done nothing wrong and nor has anyone else. "Uugh, this message is already inappropriately too long. Sorry about that and for my English, not my first language. And thank you once again ♥️!!" Still not long, let alone 'too'. No apology necessary. And your English is UCKING GOOD in that case! De nada. :) So - wand at the ready: what would you WANT to happen?

PS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MakSGWPDFpY From "Muriel's Wedding". If you haven't seen it - even this 'spoiler' can't spoil it - I suggest you do. Note 1:26 - The Narc-b*tch ringleader, saying: 'YOOOU CAN'T CALL ME THAT! I'M BBBBEAUTIFUL!" That's Zombya. :) Only, milder. :( Narcs believe what's on the inside is wholly more important than what's on the inside. Healthies know it's the opposite. Narcs also believe they're superior because they can (big deal!) manipulate and BE RUDE. Victims spend the first X months/years not daring to be impolite to shockingly rude aholes. I say - get over yourselves. If you're up against one, you can't waste your time trying to appeal to their reasonable side (don't have one) or adult-ness (nope). They're stunted, can't possibly step up to your level. So you have to get down to theirs. As long as it's just temporary - in order to beat them at their own game (which is, NOT playing their game - being an elephant pointer and whistle blower - and just being your healthy self) - then that's just sensible and intelligent. If you're GOING to Walk Away, however, then I suggest you at least do it (disgustedly and superiorly) in front of the rest of the group - and explain lengthily, WHY. The FACT you're clearly Walking Away *proves* that you mean what you say and are NOT, unlike her, playing her stupid game of psychological warfare - which is BECAUSE you of all people in that group could expose and humiliate her. So - have a thinkipoos about giving her what SHE fears (because it'd hobble her and put her out of bitchy action for a considerable length of time). Do you see, now, why she's so determined to make YOU want to leave as soon as possible? You're her human, ticking time-bomb Kryptonite. (Ooooooooh, the power, haha.)

PS: Just so's you're clear: The Overt part is, her, pretending in front of one or more others, not to like you. The Covert part is the aim, which is, to (covertly-aggressively & hostilely) make YOU want to get as far away from her (to cease being such a highly likely threat to her Mask of Respectibility & Sanity) as possible. And to give witnesses the impression that all that's going on is a personality clash. Narc-Spaths start a fire atop the table to keep you too distracted to have occur to you what and why they're doing UNDERNEATH the table. (That AND the fact she's not clever about it because, unlike a straight Covert, there's no intelligent planning or thinking ahead to consequences for HER - namely, looking too obviously like a super-bitch who's got it in for you for no reason anyone else can see.) See it now?

Oh - and because she clearly lacks the patience and self-control to go slowly - drip-drip-drip. She's going splosh-splosh-drip-splosh. (I have a steadily growing suspicion/theory, in fact, that Sociopaths, quite possibily, are NOT narcissists, just Spaths (power/money/materialism/status-crazy) and just EMULATING Narcissists as camouflage because narcissistic behaviour causes a lot of dust, steam and fog behind which to scam/extort/exploit 'in peace'. But I'm still working on it. That could explain, even if just partly, why the recent explosion of Narc-Spaths in particular. Wearing a Narc disguise and acting like one. Hence not good enough at playing Covert. Too heavy handed compared to a real Covert or Covert-Vulnerable Narc. Only a recent adoption, ERGO, not practised and polished enough! Sense?)

A virtuoso Covert would NOT have so outwardly done a Take That! They'd have waited until you were least expecting it to post that photo. Not least in order to HIDE/DILUTE any spot-able connection between the first chain link (your innocent action) and theirs (unjustifiable revenge). Coverts are the "I'll get you for that - you just wait!' merchants, which always means, later. It's Overts (or Spaths) that hit back (or create an excuse to hit back) there-and-then/first, even inopportune, opportunity. See what I mean?

This would have been Covert: Three months later.... "Oh, I've just found this lovely photo I took of you!" - posts it. You ring/message and remind them you begged them never to post it. "Oh, no - did you? Oh gosh, I totally forgot!'. And you think - HOW did you when I made such a fuss?! CONSCIOUSLY, you've no idea why they attacked. SUB-consciously, you do the Maths. And therefore, you become primed and brainwashed WITHOUT EVEN REALISING. You just know you're miserable and increasingly feel like your so-called partner keeps neglecting you for no reason other than YOU must be sh*t/not worth TLC, but decide you can tolerate them for the sake of the kids/whatever (wronggggg) - especially as Coverts are adept at coming "THIS CLOSE" to a Firing for Misconduct, but never close enough. And this is what leaves you feeling INCREDIBLY petty. But only because your survival mechanism makes you emotionally forget the weight and impact of the last insult/boundary transgression. Again - sense?

Duuh - sorry: "Narcs believe what's on the inside is wholly more important than what's on the inside. Healthies know it's the opposite." Correction: believe what's on the outside is more important than on the inside.

Hey Zara! :) So did you go to the last meeting or did you decide not to bother? Got any update? Are you in one-on-one contact with anyone from the group whom you know or suspect, thinks she's an iffy b*tch too? Or just feels unliked by her? I'm thinking you could, through them, safely monitor what goes on, now that you've disappeared from her crosshairs (IF you have yet?) because, as I say, they *have* to have someone-anyone empathic to mistreat and take their constant moodies + one-way thin-skinned-ness + paranoia/persecution complex out on, as well as a healthy ego to crush, so it's pretty guaranteed that at least ONE of the rest of the group would be next. But doing so would allow you to TAKE closure (since, even when confronted, or especially when confronted, they always deliberately withhold it). So where are you at?