Potential Academic Integrity Violation emotionally wrecking me

So, I go to a decent school for Computer Science. I'm not super passionate about CS, I enjoy coding and I can do decent on the math courses. I transferred from a small community college where I had a lot of support and only had a 1 hour commute by bus, to a 2 hour commute to my new school where I have no friends, have more work, less resources, have barely any support. So much shit happened to me this year, from my Mom completely embarrassing me and trying to run off with a man my first quarter and saying she was going to break our lease. I spent that entire quarter trying to figure out how to move out with zero support, completely lost track of school and myself. When the man never came, she just ignored everything and tried to pretend she didn't fuck up my entire school experience. Cool. I took a quarter to take it easy. Then comes this quarter, and I'm overwhelmed again. I have zero idea how to manage school with my commute. I feel constantly bitter that I'm in my situation, and I'm in a research group with 3 kids who talk about taking plane trips every weekend and getting jobs through their parents. I tried to be friends with them but it's clear the fact they all live on campus and I don't and the huge gap between our life experiences makes it so I'm the outcast, so cool whatever, those aren't my people. It still makes me bitter to see how shit my life is compared to these kids. So, I cheated on a project. I was exhausted. It was quick, I copy pasted some code from ChatGPT and then fell right to sleep without changing much of it. I was told by one of my group mates to watch out because they actually do book people for cheating, and after a stress induced frenzy, I realized that whether I get caught or not depends on if other people also used ChatGPT/the school has a bank of all ChatGPT responses to the project prompts. Either way, I'm fucked. Am I 100% fucked? No. But I feel so powerless and scared. I know if I had the resources to work hard, I would because that's all I've been doing but this is fucking ridiculous. Am I seriously expected to put in the same amount of work as kids who spend their entire life on campus, are pampered by their parents with bucket loads of money and connections? Am I just supposed to ignore the exhaustion? The helplessness? How depressed I feel? I'm not asking for free hand outs, but I just feel like, why the fuck couldn't I have been given better circumstances so I could succeed too? If I do get caught, I won't go on this spiel. I'll let them know I did cheat and I have very little support. I'll have to make up the class in the summer and pay a 1.4K fee which I'll have to beg my extended family for because we don't have the $ for that. I'm just so scared and feel alone, I'm burnt out on top of that. I nearly killed myself this quarter because I thought what the fuck kind of life is this? I think I might have undiagnosed depression or something, I don't know. I just feel so much shame about this and I don't know how to navigate it, I'm so scared of that dreaded email saying I was reported. I know there's worse things to happen to me. I can't even study for my other classes because I'm just anxiously waiting for Week 10 (It's Week 9) to know if I got caught or not, which I know is illogical and will probably mess up more stuff if I don't get caught. I just need any advice, any advice at all. I feel paralyzed by all of this and honestly have been sizing up all my options for suicide rn. Nothing seems appealing because they all have the chance for failure/extreme pain. I feel like if I reach out to people all they'll think is I'm some shithead who cheated so they had more time to party and not someone who cheated because I know I have to keep moving forward even when I'm at my lowest.

Life has a habit of coming back to bite those who take shortcuts. Forget about the kids with bucketloads of cash & connections as you're different & need a different path to succeed but without the bs & the cheating. You've asked & answered your own question regardless of if you get caught. Arrange a meeting, lay it all out & see where the dust settles...that's honesty & copping it on the chin as well. It proves your integrity & earns you some respect. If you don't go there, that's your business, but then you may as well just pack it in & go & do something else because if you don't get caught this time, there's always next time.

Hello Guest_User18, Well I think Manalone absolutely hit the nail on the head when he said you should arrange a meeting and fess up to it. If you come clean, the results will probably be better for you than if you wait to see if you get caught. If you do come clean, you might even be able to give yourself some wiggle room to say you "meant to modify the code, but had forgotten to and ran out of time", or note that you've been under a lot of stress due to the recent circumstances. But I don't even know about that at this point - it's been so long since you turned the assignment in now that the time for seeking some pity has probably expired. It would be best to just come clean and say, "Look, I cut corners and copied that code from ChatGPT, it was my bad." The fact of the matter is, college education is a commitment. And you have to be able to make room for it in your life if you're to succeed and learn from the coursework. You have to want it. The situation with your mom sounds like some BS, and that sucks. But you weathered that. The community college sounds like it offered you a lot in retrospect, but it's one of those grass-is-always-greener things, I know. And yeah, I can see where maybe school and life has you down right now, but your life will eventually change and you won't be going to school or living with your mom forever. How far are you into your studies? Can you still change your major if you'd like, or no? My thing would be, if you think you can do well enough to pass your courses and graduate, then once you get your degree you might be able to pursue a job that focuses more on the coding or mathematics aspect of things. Sometimes just getting through college and having that to put on your resume counts for something. You'll have to update us on what has been going on these past 2 weeks.

Schmokinnnn' AND Schmokinnn'! You got two Schmokin' posters there, Guest; someone up there is looking out for you. :) Don't worry and don't feel terrible. Even your tutors have been your age before and most DO remember what it's like. When we're desperate we can do things we normally wouldn't. They'll understand. I mean - you're not a ruddy Octopus, are you! And we can offer you support and comfort so - feel free to make this an ongoing thread, okay? Oh, and - "Am I just supposed to ignore the exhaustion? The helplessness? How depressed I feel? I'm not asking for free hand outs, but I just feel like, why the fuck couldn't I have been given better circumstances so I could succeed too?" Because you've been talent-spotted from Up On High, ERGO, have (to you, imperceptibly) plucked off the "Grunt" training programme and its obstacle courses, marathon runs, etc., and plonked onto the extra-hard-going one. It's called, Officer Training. Those pampered-on-a-plate kids will end up pretty flaccid and helpless. Not so you - you'll be RIPPED (super-capable, super-confident, super-mature and capable of handling ANYTHING within human experience). And it IS worth it in the end, you WILL be grateful for it. It's just really horrid at the time. And btw - you sound Anxious, not Depressed. Anxiety Disorder from too much sustained, chronic Stress and general over-wroughtness. Just too much for one person (SEEMINGLY). Can you get to your doctor to get a stepstool/crutch in the form of an Anxiolitic (ask for the most popular - Citalopram)? If not, you'll need the 1000mg Omega 3 EPA/DHA Fish Oil (Megallics-free) Capsules from Healthcare and other healthstores online. They work fast, too. Also, Vitamin D (in case you've a deficiency from not having got out into the daylight enough - because it mimics Depression/Anxiety). Otherwise you can attack it via certain foods known for their fast, natural, anxiety AND depression busters. PS: Me, I'd just show them your opening post. Says it all, explains it all and makes it all understandable and forgiveable. AND IT IS - cos you're only young and it's us wrinklies' generation that effed the world up for you! We feckin owe you. PPS: ((((((((((((((((((PARENTAL HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))

Oh and btw - it's called, 'Something had to give'. Again - NOT an Octopus! Let alone a full-grown-&-capable one! That, cutting that corner, was all the coping mechanism choice that was open to you. As long as things like this were a LAST resort, rather than a first. With lazy basstds, it's a first. See the chasmic difference? You're a good lad.

... which is undoubtedly the reason why you got spotted and plucked/promoted in the first place. :) Too many grown adults wouldn't have been able to cope where you have/still are. For starters, you were resourceful/survivalist enough to come here. (See how that works?) I think you're probably just feeling scared and alone/isolated, right after chronic trauma (emotional and practical neglect...mum stuck up her own backside). Sorry - WERE feeling. You're here now. :)

Hey, Guest! I heard on LBC news last night that practically all of your peers have been using ChatGBT in their assessment projects! I think you're safe to come clean, without being met by a huge reaction. ..., assuming they haven't worked it out for themselves already?

Well if that's the case, that's got to be a bit of a relief for the OP. But hopefully they learned from the situation.