Need Advice! Am I being taken advantage of?!

I've been dating a married man whom claims he has been separated for sometime now but still lives in their home together. He has been telling me he is going to move out as soon as he is financially able to do so. However, it has been 2 years and that day has yet to come. I am now 5 months pregnant and things between us get more unusual as days pass. He is starting to become unreliable, not showing up when he says he will, he disappears and I am unable to get ahold of him until the next day that he tells me some excuse of what occurred. So, I started to document the days he does that and do a little social media research of my own and come to find out he is still in a fully functioning marriage and has been lying to me for a long time. I also discovered that his wife is infertile and has been doing "IVF" treatment for many years. So my question is this, am I being used for him to have a biological child to give to his wife?

You're definitely being used, because he said he was separated and he very obviously isn't. Whether there is any motive other than his own gratification is unclear. However, if you have enough evidence of his duplicity, you can frustrate his aims. It's good that you've done some research and documented his double dealing. Quite evidently, you need to leave him for that reason. As far as any custody battle goes, I'm not a lawyer, so I'd recommend asking one what evidence you need to gather to show a court in order to prevent him gaining custody.

Hi Misunderstood. Okay, I've just got to ask. What was it about this particular guy? Why not a completely single dude? Or, at the very least, a guy who is married but fully separated and in the process of divorcing? Because the impression I get is that women who go after guys that are already with someone else, is that they are kind of INTO it. Either it makes them feel hot or beautiful being the side-chick, or else they feel like they're with a real stud who knows what the ladies like. Or even, they maybe get turned on by sharing a guy with other women. Just an outsider's observations and queries. It might be that he had money, or success, good looks, or a lot going for him. And Idk, I guess maybe there are men who can be charming enough to get away with something like this for almost 2 years. I seriously just wonder what it was about him. Is he older than you? Do you think you could raise your baby on your own? This thread deserves more attention because there is really a lot to dig in and dissect here. You obviously need to leave this guy because he lied to you, and you need to do what's right for you and baby. Do you tell the wife? What if the wife is in on it, and they are a serial killer couple who are going to take the unborn baby from you? (Mostly jk. :D )

Hi Misunderstood, You'll get no judgment from me about your current situation, but oh my! You have really got yourself into a pickle! The first thing I would say is run from this man as fast as you possibly can! You have spent two years of your life being lied to by him and he deserves not a minute more of your time! To your question of "Am I being used?" the answer is yes, but the likelihood of him being able to take your baby away from you is improbable. Courts rarely separate mothers and children without very compelling reasons of poor parenting. It sounds like he is distancing himself from you by being unreliable, so he may even have someone else, or want to dump you before you come after him for child support. I would consult an attorney regarding your rights in terms of the child.

Hi, Misunderstood, Not read anyone else's response yet so excuse any duplication. "So my question is this, am I being used for him to have a biological child to give to his wife?" If that's the case, it's effing worrying! However, he's acting like your typical, over-entitled, duplicitous, using and emotionally abusing, Covert Narc. So it's probably more just to prove to himself for the sake of his (pff!) manly pride (real men don't exploit women, they protect them!), his sick little ego, that he fires live ones. Yes, they ARE that thoughtless, irresponsible and uncaring/non-compassionate. Me-Me-Me-Me-Meee-and-sod-you. You've served your purpose, plus he's had his proof (or maybe it's something to torture his threateningly confident wife into submission with!?...tricking you into aiding and abetting - which is 'Swat Narx do') (which would make him a Malignant Covert, best not to be messed with and best NOT involved in any baby's childhood blueprinting (yikes, no!).) You're going to be a single mum. Do you have any support? If not - stay for as many weeks/months/years as you like and keep blogging for moral and practical support from myself and other veteran parents. Meanwhile I'd go Zero Contact so as to avoid his getting any such 'funny' ideas about trying for sole custody by claiming you're unfit/a druggie/whatever they can make up that sounds plausible (to him). Fat chance!...but, they still try and it still costs in precious time, energy and legal and court fees, and with a bubbie on the way, you just don't NEED that mind-ucking crap...and nor does bubbie. So don't give him the chance. 'Injunction' yourself now. That way he can't Gaslight you and string you along, let alone persuade you round...., the disgusting monster, UGH! Playing with your life to that incredible extent! FYI, that trickery means you are not "a mistress". Just conned, used, "hopefully" left life-devastated interrupted. His type don't end relationships. They end partners (just psychologically...no visible bruises). They get rid of ALL the evidence of their interpersonal or actual crimes, including the main witness (you) so that their cover persona (Decent, Upstanding Family Man) won't get taken off them...because they have more than one victim at-a-time or get through victims at the rate of knotts. They get great (sadistic) pleasure and giant ego-boost (which they're addicted to) out of it...the original opposite-sex-haters. Sick, isn't it. The depths they go to. That THIS one has gone to! But trust me, you've dodged a bullet. Meanwhile: ((((((((((((((((((((Commiseratory Hug))))))))))))))))))))))))) And soon, you'll be getting BETTER than a boyfriend/husband. Your own little human-being that is going to melt your heart and show you, finally, what GENUINE and RECIPROCAL, never-ending love and care feels like! (You're in for a lovely shock.) Don't worry, okay? These 'from Left field' things always happen for a reason. In fact, it might even be Fate that, for your benefit, has used HIM...to make you have a baby! E.g. his frontal cortex (where normality/humanity lives) is permanently corrupted and/or missing, but that doesn't mean his genes aren't brilliant enough when mixed with yours, to produce an astoundingly impressive and adorable new human. Trust me, as soon as you see that little face for the first time, you won't give a flying duck about The Impregnator there. So what's your situation, family-come-support-network wise? Do your parents know everything? What did they say?

PS: Hi newbies, and welcome! Excellent, no-nonsense posts, hope you stick around and do some more!