The principal issue - update

Okay, so before I give an update on my unprofessional and predatory principal, I would like to share why my girlfriend called him weird. He is EXTREMELY predatory (wish we had physical proof). We have a big picture on one of our walls in our school where everyone can addto it. That being said he had told her "Can you go color that wall just for me." in this voice that sent CHILLS through my body. He's like this to me, my girlfriend, many of my friends, and a few others. Just putting that out there. ANYWAY, my girlfriend has discovered the other day, that he apparently LIED on one of her discipline referrals. He DID give her a copy and when I say I was BAFFLED! He said the day she hugged and he called us weird didn't happen the way we said. He said she was segsual towards me and he never called us weird. He said she said rude things to him as well as lied about the hugging part. He said SHE LIED!! It gets EVEN better. He wrote down on her referral that he planned to get in touch with LEGAL help for defamation and slander of his name. (She called him a ped0phile twice because HE IS).

Welcome back, Ayshtonn. Here's a quick link to your old thread, for context: https://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/13905/am-i-overreacting Uh, well... The more I re-read your latest post, this guy is sounding pretty odd. It's one thing to be taking legal action against a student for defamation, but it's another entirely to continue to interact with them and ask them to add to a mural "just for" him. I would almost wonder if it's some sort of trick, to get your girlfriend to bad-mouth him on the mural and then use that as his own evidence against her. The guy isn't presenting himself as professional in his position of authority and power, and that is where his weakness is that you can point to if it proceeds toward legal action. I almost wish you and your girlfriend could have gotten through this situation without things reaching that magnitude, but at the same time maybe it's good that you are since it could put an end to his hijinks. The important thing is that you have strong evidence this guy is behaving weirdly, or even more so, that he could be a pedophile. It's a serious accusation to make, and you need to be sure. It could land your girlfriend in a difficult position if you're accusing this man of something so sinister and nothing confirms that. You may want to consider hiring your own lawyer to get your side of the story on record. Your girlfriend also needs to conduct herself more civilly. If she always resorts to name-calling with people she doesn't like, you will find yourself in a world of trouble with every acquaintance that presents you with minor inconveniences.

Thank you for your advice and support! I appreciate it a lot to be honest.

No problem. How have things been going over the past week? Life is a series of problems for you to fix. If you look at it that way, it can help sometimes.

That actually does help to think about lol. Thank you. This week my principal has been calmer, he actually seems off. So I am grateful for the blessing!

Good! But keep keeping us posted, Ayshtonn. This here can be your record of events. What about your parents? Have you two got them together and let them in on it? That should be part of your preparation just-in-case he gets funny again. They'll be upset if you don't tell them. That's STILL what they're there for. To help your transition into adulthood and how to cope with problematic people/situations like this one ...which shouldn't be happening, thus you have no experience of handling. Whereas, I'll bet THEY have...oh, yeah....

Sadly, I have experience with such individuals but yes I have informed them and they are on edge.

Oh, you do?! Spill the toxic goss, then? And you've informed them already? Hey, well done - I'm impressed at how very well your (technically) young head is screwed-on! I think your gf is 'younger' than you, but - now she's got you, she'll most likely take your more self-controlled cue. :) (That principal sounds WELL dodgy! WTH are they hiring these days?!) So what did your parents have to say about it/him?

Lol I have no idea who gave him power but he seems to be a good liar so I can see why he was hired. Thank you also,both of my parents are not happy. They told me to let them know if/when he strikes again! I've been dealing with predatory behavior my whole life, sadly I've been the victim of grooming several times. Too many times.

I can tell you that once you get out of school and into the real world, the situation doesn't always improve. You'll likely learn that most people are horrible in some way. But hopefully I'm wrong about that and you'll have the pleasure of working with some great coworkers and live in a great community. The job I have now is good and I like it a lot better than my last couple, but I work with some rude and narcissistic jerks and they do get to me every couple of days. The place where I live isn't ideal but it's okay. For now. And I'm not so sure I could point to some magical place on a map and tell you where to go for the best possible future. If you're already accustomed to this sort of behavior at this age in your life, then I'm sorry. Hopefully you will continue to find circumstances, people and places that are better than what you've experienced. But if not, then at least you've had some training to help prepare you for some of the many personality disorders you will encounter as you move through life.

Well put, Bal! Ayshtonn, do you suppose you still have traces of Sliming (Priming) on you, and other predators are sniffing you out? It's like blood in the water with those sharks. Even one ATOM of it and the effers are making a bee-line for you. You CAN do a bit of (fun) work on yourself to get into all of your nooks 'n crannies and hoover the last of it out, though. The process makes you more attractive to non-narcs and (most importantly) empaths but UGLY AND INTIMIDATING - not to mention, discombobulating and highly threatening - to Narcs whereby THEY are the ones to spot you and veer down a side alley. (So to speak.) Meantime, secretly record him (one of you) on your phone. Keep a diary (or here). Enough written records and the onus (including legally) will be on him to prove his innocence...which is a liiiiitle bit hard (hah!) with said, substantial, comprehensive, written record (the he saids - we saids). Me, I would have secretly recorded lots of footage, then using another phone, taken a wee compilation of each confrontation (or witnessing if he picks on others behind closed doors/corners as well?) and, if need be (/were), show him, saying, '.....I don't think so.') (Saying that, I was very confident and precocious for my age...but...just an idea...not least because your two's confidences will go BOOF!, twice the size...and he would in-future sense that, even WITHOUT having to be shown your compilation, and give YOU a wide berth...."Narc-Slayers Alert, Narc-Slayers Alert, Aieeeee!".) I know he's gone quiet for now, but, if he's a Narc (power/trust-abusive), he won't stay like that. They're a Loop-on-Legs....Groundhog Day, any relationship with them is called. He'll either come back for more OR switch to another innocent target(s). So anyway...that's you, gf, your parents, her parents(?), Balance and I, MAKES (stares at toes)... EIGHT AGAINST ONE! ...one already crippled one. Say that out-loud to yourself in the mirror 15 times on the trot so it sticks at the forefront of your mind and he 'smells' it and stays away (or switches to being all 'licky-a*se...."my favourite-favourite students, yadder-yadder-slime-slime"'). Meanwhile, you and gf watch 'Bad Teacher', starring Cameron Dias and Justin Timberlake (and that cuddly teddy-bear bloke I can't recall right now). Effing good fun and another empowerment balm for you both. It's called, Counter-Manipulation and/or purely Reactive Abuse (not a crime, recognised in law as self-defense). Counter-Manipulation's more fun, though.

"I have no idea who gave him power" Well, whomever she was - he must have made her o**asm. (Meow!)

I still (deadly seriously) don't like the 'sent chills' bit. That statement hit me hard between the eyes. That's your gut instinct screaming for all it's worth, that is...that you're in the presence of an actual social predator. Think about it. Someone who's ONLY an a-hole, wouldn't cause that survival reaction, would he. Go carefully, you two, yeh? *Very*. Especially gf. And definitely feel free to stick around until the problem of him is sorted. PS: Fits with 'good liar'. PPS: If I were you two (huh? - haha!), I'd start veeery gently, GRADUALLY, QUIETLY, and subtly, finding-out if any other students have experienced anything iffy with him. I'll bet they bloody have.

Hopefully, where you two are concerned, he decided you were too tough to chew on, let alone swallow. (I imagine he did - you're both "too" confident and sassy in your respective ways for your ages... you're assertive, she's aggressive.) But - better safe than sorry. ((As for him: You picked on a couple of GenZs, ya tw*t. They ain't LIKE GenX's or Millennials. They're natural-born Narc-Slayers (in the making and very nearly there - AS WE KEEP SEEING ON THIS HERE FORUM (, fyi, Ayshtonn). One or some of your students are - ARE - going to end up taking you down. Ruuurn, Evil For-west, ruuurn! :ppppppppppppp)) Needed that - cheers! :)