Why do always fall back on porn as a release?

My wife is out a lot in the evenings, stuff I don’t want to be involved in, no she’s not having an affair. She very rarely if at all is the first to instigate romance, she’d rather play on her phone. The irony of this is not lost on me. I can’t afford to go out and my hobbies are ok. Yes I goto the gym. I play a musical instrument and I have other hobbies besides yet when I’m alone I always fall back to porn. Whenever it’s over I always feel dirty. I always feel guilty. Yes I’ve had affairs in the past, never got as far as sleeping with them though. I’m lost and don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to block websites. The app blockers want a lot of money, not to some but a lot to me. I feel awful for writing this. I feel like I’ve let myself down.

It's an addiction and should be treated as such. I'm an alcoholic and in recovery. Use a 15 second time(slow the thought for only 15 second) then get yourself busy.

Is that, you stop and breathe for 15 seconds before you act on the impulse?

Hi PMan (- insult yourself - you ain't getting any help from me, LOL), If you're still there? Yes. You could also do Commando Breathing (incredibly effective) - Inhaaale..."2 elephant"..."3 elephant"...4 elephant" - Hold...2...3...4 - Exhaaaale...2..3..4. Repeat four times or more. It'll bring down your over-arousal (which starts at the mere anticipation) to where your conscious mind can be regain its dominance over your animal mind and urges (and give it a right telling-off haha). It'll be like a psychological arm-wrestle but - here's the good news: resisting temptation (or at least repeatedly trying to) is one hell of a heavily-weighted dumbell so your mind will quickly get stronger and stronger for the exertion, with each attempt, which can only enhance your life anyway. Win/win. It's no good having big/hard muscles on the outside if you don't have them on the inside.... it leaves you out-of-kilter. You could also write yourself a note and pin it to your monitor (like a dieter does, on their fridge door)? But really, if you need to get rid of an addiction pretty instantly - transfer it... get addicted to something healthier (think, Methodone, the Heroin substitute). Sexual energy comes from the same 'pot' as Physical so - take up an exhilarating sport? But ditto Creative so you could equally search for something that inspires and empassions you - e.g. photography? Just something you can feel really inspired and passionate about. Luckily, there are clubs for all of those things so (depending on where you are) try phoning your local council or libraries for info. I know none of those things sound as powerful as porn, but - you'd be surprised. You're probably just reaching for porn because it's the most convenient...in the same room. After all, you don't sound like you want to be doing it or are enjoying it. Hope that helps?

If not - try this humdinger. It'll put you RIGHT off! These porn peddlars/pushers are laughing at you (as a 'customer'). They've pushed it - you've tried it...and become addicted. It's a drug. As powerful as Heroin. Only difference is - instead of a substance you introduce via your mouth, lungs or vein - it's the visual stimulus sets your brain off, making it manufacture a cocktail of chemicals as results in a drug, itself. Dopamine is the main one. And this homemade drug cocktail is incredibly addictive. So let's make that simpler: They foist visual stimulus at you - you like the sensation (and result) and get addicted from your own drug, of which you want more and more to get the same original effect ("chasing the dragon")...which you never do get (same as Heroin and other opiates). Even simpler: They show you pictures. To get you to make the drug as gets you hooked, which then leaves you dependent on them and their pictures. And meanwhile, they're stealing chunks of your salary and laughing at you all the way to the bank. Other blokes are drugging and mugging you of your salary. (Let's say it together - after 3: one.......two..........three, "THE DIRTY ROTTEN BASSTDS!" (Still finding that material sexy??)

PS: IOW, just KEEP seriously trying to resist the temptation, saying 'NO!', because that'll strengthen your self-discipline/resistance 'brain-muscle' until you suddenly find you can DO 'No' (and then, 'Nope!', into 'Faaaaa-ckooooorff, you losers!'. Practise makes perfect. Keep picturing them having a GREAT time, spending your hard-earned income, buying themselves Beemers, etc. (They're the ones should hate themselves.) I think I'm right in saying that Alcoholics Anonymous welcome members with addictions other than alcohol? Addiction is addiction (even though you were tricked into it).

That does actually help! Sorry for the late reply, i forgot my login shizzlw.... I'm getting better, what ever you think of it, Freemasonry is being a great help. as is music, playing it that is. And reading of all things.

WOW! Ku-DOS! I'm seriously impressed! So you ARE muscley on the inside! That's a record-breaking adjustment if ever I saw one - seriously! So you're known for being really 'stubborn', then? Here - what's your job? Whatever it is - ditch it and apply to Alcoholics Anonymous as a team leader (addiction is addiction). They could do with dynamic strong'uns like you. So how did it happen? Did you sit and picture the Manipulators-Exploiters in their shiny Beemers and think - 'I at least own their bloody steering-wheels, the basstds!'? What instrument? And what type of music? What do you mean, reading of all things? You're reading this, ain'tcha? Haha! Roger - Over?

Literally that! Picturing them making money, it makes me physically ill to think about it. I play in a brass band, when you are part of a band you don't have time to think about anything else other than the music. Yoy've so much to process at the same time you can only focus on the music. It is, you've your music, lots of black dots (a different language to read and translate), you have to listen to the person sat next to you for tuning and stuff, theres the rest of the band to listen to, and the bloke in the middle waving their arms round like a loon. Honestly it takes most of your mental power to do it. and I read a bit. Currently into a steampunk type world.

Well - well done! Yeah, my later father played in various brass brands (Cornet and Trumpet). I tried it, and other wind instruments, but I couldn't stand the buzzing sensation in my lips (Clarinet was the worst for that). I've always preferred the piano, because I can put my whole body into it (...not my feet, obviously, haha) (tho that would be an excellent party trick). Never been part of an orchestra, though; it's just for me. HAHA - 'the loon'! What does 'steampunk type world' mean? (Am I being thick?) Here, if you want to try using that mental strength of yours to respond to other visitor's posts here and there - feel free! Plus, you're not the first with your particular problem (EX-problem, I should say). :)

Thank you for your support. I can't begin to tell you how much it's helped. A Steampunk world is Victorian era, with a lot of steam powered things. Think H G Wells Time Machine. War of the Worlds, the original not that Tom Cruise thing. Arcane on Netflix, Wild Wild West with Will Smith. Frankenstein and that sort of thing, although Frankenstein is more Gothic Horror, but it's the whole machines and the like. And the FASHION!

Be with you asap, PMan (P for mentally-powerful :)). (PS: Ignore that very childish post just above yours, it'll be removed anon.)

Heya! Making my way to you (see Aiden's thread), just bumping you up....

With you soon!

"Thank you for your support. I can't begin to tell you how much it's helped." Ahhhhh, that's really sweet of you to say - thank-you. :)))))) "A Steampunk world is Victorian era, with a lot of steam powered things. Think H G Wells Time Machine. War of the Worlds," Ohhhhhhhh. It's coming back in, isn't it - including in Interior Design. I saw some the other day. Some high-end Interior Designer and furniture online shop. Table-lamp base, think I'm right in saying? Cost bloody LOADS! Oh - and a large coffee table. "the original not that Tom Cruise thing." What Tom Cruise thing? "Arcane on Netflix, Wild Wild West with Will Smith. Frankenstein and that sort of thing, although Frankenstein is more Gothic Horror, but it's the whole machines and the like." Is Steampunk a branch of Goth? "And the FASHION!" Got any links?

You always fall back on porn as a release because, it is the easy option You have always done it, so you ARE in the habit of doin it - if things don`t work, can always fall back on porn, and get a release istead of TRYIN to make things work, just drop to porn - because it is easier It IS what you have always done - if it`s not broken, don`t fix it - and so the cycle continues ...

Hi Missguided79! :) He's already succeeded. It'll help you massively if you can read the thread in its entirety before responding? But it's still nice that you care, and - welcome! :) PS: Oooh....stick a shot of Tia Maria in that Guinness and hand it over here......... Cheers!

a shot of Tia Maria in that Guinness IS a waste of Guinness > Good things come to those who wait

Whilst I appreciate the issue is resolved. > You should have combined the interests - for future reference. Made your OWN porno - together then sold it on e-bay / similar

Missguided, "a shot of Tia Maria in that Guinness IS a waste of Guinness > Good things come to those who wait" Heyyyyy, steady on! I'll drink Guinness on its own, didn't say I wouldn't (pouty mouth). I just mean, when you're in the mood for sweet rather than bitter...like as a nightcap. Espesh at Christmas. PS: It's tings, not things. (gaffaws at own joke and dives under desk, quick) Nah... actually, I'm allowed to say that cos I've got a dollop of Oiresh in me, so Ah have. I'm also part-Spanish (hence mixing the two....So it's probably just instinctive self-expression in booze form (heh)).

That actually sounds like it could be a good mix. Like coffee Guinness, lol. I don't like drinking Guinness in public, because on at least 2 occasions now I've had people scold me that the correct way to drink it is in like 3 gulps. I just want to enjoy it.