Veteran PTSD

I’m a veteran and I’ve tried suicide 2 times by taking poison and survived. I’ve PTSD and unemployed and my wife left me because of unemployment. I’m still having suicidal thoughts. I’m all alone. What should I do?

Hi L33, Well first of all, I'm sorry to hear about your problem. I don't know which country you're from, or which military you served in, but I do know that here in the US there have been issues with veterans having PTSD and other mental-health issues for a long time. My first thought is maybe you can try to network and find a support group with other veterans struggling with similar PTSD issues. I am sure they exist and are active somewhere. The thing is, I know myself and a lot of other people here on Peoples' Problems could discuss these issues with you, but I am sure it would mean more having these discussions with other people who have been through some of the same things as you. You are definitely welcome to talk about it here, though, and we'll try our best to listen and give you good feedback. I guess as someone who has never served in the military, I can only really speculate what you might be going through and what is causing you to feel the way you do now. I don't know what the primary reasons might be for your PTSD. So I guess you would have to share with us what you think might have put you into this mental state, as best you can. Unemployment is also rough. Job-hunting is rough. All of that sort of thing isn't usually fun for anyone, but I'm sure it's even more difficult being an unemployed veteran. Usually, being a veteran will help you get employment more easily, or is supposed to. I guess the key is finding a job you might be able to do where your PTSD might not be set off or interfere too much with you doing the job. Also sorry to hear about your wife leaving you. Relationships don't always last, and financial problems can be one of many contributing factors to them ending. The important thing for now is to work on you, and to work on your current situation and to try to improve it. You can't be in a healthy relationship until you, yourself are in a better spot. In some ways, we are usually alone in life. And that isn't necessarily entirely a bad thing. It can be nice to be able to put yourself first and focus on yourself, without having to worry about dependents or partners, or anything like that. And I get it - it would be nice to have friends, to go on dates again, or reconnect with your wife one day or something. But those things will come along in time and aren't what you need to concern yourself with just yet. Besides, I can attest that even if you do find a friend or partner again, it might only lead to further internal debate about whether you can improve those relationships or find better ones. You've got to try to look for the pros in everything, where you can. And right now you have an opportunity to talk about your issues and work on you. Hope to hear back from you soon. I don't check this every day lately, but I will be back at some point. In the meantime, others may stop by to add their own responses and begin discussions with you.

Re: I’m all alone. What should I do > If nothin changes, everythin remains the SAME You NEED to change your circle. Meet new, different people - look at things in a different way than you did before Go to the places people go. Strange idea but, when was the last time you went to church? I agree church is probably not your thing but - think about it. Go with the idea Church actually does all of the things - you ARE lookin for Just turn up, go with it Goin to church IS the change you ARE lookin for

I'm just gonna interject here a bit, going off of what Missguided added. I'll start by saying I'm not a really religious guy, and I have no idea how you feel or might come to feel about religion, L33. But I guess it's not a half-bad idea, if Church is something you think could help you. I say, look at all of these tools at your disposal for helping you through this. For a lot of people, that may include a higher power, prayer and/or shared beliefs with a community. To add on to that, I liked Missguided's general suggestion about changing or growing your circle, or going to other places - possibly ones where other people also go. Like that support group for veterans with PTSD, or any other kind of support group. Or a club or group of some other kind. ...I used to know this one guy, he always dressed real nice for work. At the time it seemed a little strange to me, I guess. I mean what we were doing was work you didn't really have to dress nice for. But he did, every day. And I think he did that for himself just as much as his coworkers and bosses. Sure, it made him look good, made him look professional to others. But sometimes taking those first steps and "dressing for the part", so to speak, helps you a lot with putting yourself in the right mindset for whatever you are trying to do to better yourself. By dressing the part, or going to that place - by "prepping" yourself, somehow - that helps put you in the right zone for making real progress. It's kind of like those people who are good at waking up early and getting an early start on their day. It's something that sucks for a lot of us to do, but if you do it, sometimes it can be quite rewarding. You get to enjoy that nice sunrise, and get to run errands and accomplish things before it gets too busy out. You can make time for a nice breakfast, and coffee, and maybe not rush your morning like some of us do. It can energize you for the rest of the day. Anyway, I think that's part of it. The prep-work, the preparation for success. Setting yourself up for success in as many parts of your life as possible.

Thanks Missy (- that nickname alright with you?), Thanks Bal - fantastic responses! L33, Like Bal suggested - tell us more. Tell us everything, be as lengthy as you like. Doing that is called Talk Therapy (despite you're using your 'internal mouth' and fingers) - which is the original and the best - so that will help, majorly..."a problem shared is a problem halved" is true. Are you under medical care, on prescribed medications? That should be your first step (your step-stool back to functionality, where you need to be to start healing). And then, the second - continuing to hang-out and talk here, for the sense of company, caring and support. And then when you start to feel capable of seeking-out 'physical' support, meeting new people will cease feeling daunting and instead fill you with hopeful anticipation. The church is a good idea when you're that low - they're extremely welcoming and you'll be surrounded by giant empaths. And you need support AND SOME FUN. When was the last time you had any fun? Are you suffering anxiety into Panic Attacks? Sleeping too much or too little? Avoiding the days and staying up all night? Do you have any friends or family?...anyone you know you could call at 3am because you were in a bad state? (As for your so-called wife: if it's true she left because you were unemployed due to your trauma, then...... "WE KNOW WHAT SHE IS, DON'T WE CHILDREN!".) (You can talk about her, as well...get her toxins OUT of you.) Tell us everything/anything (you're more anonymous than a needle in a haystack and indeed are not our first Forces PTSD visitor by any means). So that we can get a clearer idea of where you are on the Grieving/Healing path. We don't do 'off the peg'. :) Have a purely platonic hug of support from all of us (we're no strangers to PTSD and CPTSD): (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) (I expect you haven't had a cuddle for ages, either, eh.)

PS: I expect she literally doubled your trauma when she did that, yes? (Gimmie the gun...just gimmie the gun.) (Or not...cos she'll get hers. "Goes around - comes around" is real, and anyone who tries to deny it and is over the age of 40 is a deaf, dumb and blind idiot as far as I'm concerned.)

PS: Why poison? Did it cause any long-term damage or were you lucky? One thing I do know: you're incredibly brave. You fit right in. :))

You DON`T have to be religious to go to church > just turn up, go through the motions - sit & listen, nod your head in all the right places The important part IS to back AGAIN It WILL give you thinkin time, away from your every day problems You WILL look at things differently If nothin changes - everythin remains the same - make THAT change

Agree with Missy! ....'The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results' (Albert Einstein or Rita Mae Brown - the jury's hung on that score). Even a tiny life-tweak like that (couple of hours, once per week or fortnight) would make a VAST difference as well as trigger a Positive Snowball effect, including, giving you something warm and familiar (and probably surprisingly fun!) to literally keep looking forward to. You need a lifeline and, quickly, yes? Do you think you're strong enough to try? I seriously doubt anyone would bat an eyelid if you broke down (from Kindness Overload-type gratitude) in front of everyone; they're used to it, probably joined that way themselves. Worth a punt? (Missy, do you know if vicars and priests let people just turn up, still, or whether they let them sample some "gathering" or event to see whether they even want to join up? How does it work these days?) If you joined-in here or just talked regularly on your thread, at the same time - that would double the effect and speed. :) However, if you're still (or freshly) on your knees then we need to get you up and off them again first or you ain't going anywhere (not painlessly anyway) (and how do you look as one of Ken Dodd's Diddy Men?). Unless you have good days here and there that you could cash-in on? But first, you obviously have to get back to us (cough-cough!).

(Just bumping this back up the board)

L33, I found this for you (or anyone else in your boat, reading this)... ________________________________________________________________________ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/tetris-ptsd-trauma-treatment-study-b2923472.html "Popular online puzzle game can help reduce PTSD symptoms Researchers found that some people who engaged with the puzzle game as part of PTSD treatment experienced a significant reduction in flashbacks. ((EXTRACT)) Playing the classic video game Tetris could offer a novel approach to reducing distressing memories following trauma, a new trial has indicated. Researchers found that health workers who engaged with the puzzle game as part of their treatment experienced a significant reduction in flashbacks. Experts are now keen to expand testing of the method, which they describe as "accessible, scalable and adaptable", to a broader population. The study, a collaboration between researchers in the UK and Sweden, involved 99 NHS staff members who had been exposed to traumatic events, such as witnessing deaths, during the Covid-19 pandemic. Forty of these participants received the treatment, known as imagery competing task intervention (ICTI), which involved playing a slow version of Tetris. During the intervention, individuals were asked to briefly recall a traumatic memory before using their mind's eye to visualise the Tetris grid and its falling blocks. The findings suggest this simple intervention could be a valuable tool in mitigating the impact of traumatic experiences. The ICTI method is thought to weaken the vividness of the intrusive memories by occupying the brain’s visuospatial areas, which help it to analyse and understand physical space." (article continues) ________________________________________________________________________ Tetris is one of my all-time fave games - I've just been telling Ayden on her post about how it and other similar games benefits me, psycho-emotionally (by engaging my Left brain hemisphere to give my emotional hemisphere a rest). It appears these researchers have stumbled upon an effective, psychological version of a "Volume" switch to turn down for when our emotions get the better of us! It's not new (switching off 'Kirk' to let 'Spock' take over or get a word in), but so simply and easily using the game Tetris is! Plus it's FUN (which is medicine - including laughter). Fun AND stops Flashbacks! Wow. Really hope that helps? :)

I’m all alone. What should I do? > Everythin you need is already inside you God WILL always love you You need to draw a line under the past >tried suicide 2 times by taking poison and survived. I’ve PTSD and unemployed and my wife left me because of unemployment If nothin changes, everythin stays the same Draw THAT line, turn the page and start a new Go to Church - I am NOT sayin it in a bible bashin way > Goin to church IS the change you NEED to make Just turn up - have a look around You could get somethin out of it - if you don`t go, you will NEVER know Do you currently go to church, prob not - you are not happy with your life, so make that change

oops only just noticed I repeated the same suggestion - goin to Church what have you got to lose ? it has got to be worth a try

SOULMATE - yes in the church of England - you CAN just turn up > you do not need an appointment with a vicar, priest ... It is best to turn up when the church IS open - so there are people there You are always welcome in the house of God You don`t have to be religious to go - you will not be turned away