Need help knowing. I am very confused

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 18 months. When we first got together I had to take her to another state where we now both live together. But, at first I had to stay in our original place to get things cleared up so we were apart about 2 months. She had to go down with her family. We talked every day and night. But, after a couple weeks she would disappear for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, always claiming she fell asleep or her mom wanted to talk, she always talked to her mom with me on the phone so no reason to hang up or stop texting for that. I Told her if something is going on she can be honest. The first few times I thought ok, maybe and as for the fell asleep, I figured possible. But, it began happening every day, several times a day. One day I asked her and she got defensive, then told me she had been having sex. First it was one guy and only once, then several times, then she said she lied it never happened, then it was a few guys, some once, others a few times. The number of times she claimed to have had sex was anywhere from 0 to 20, but, the numbers were never consistent. one day it was 5, another day 12, the next day 0, the next day 3, the next day 0 and so on. Now that we live together she swears she made it up. When we started seeing each other she was in an abusive relationship, her words I never knew her man. She would claim beatings and all, but, never had any bruising. She claimed she never slept in the same bed with him, she claimed to hate sex, claimed she never had an orgasm, all the stuff. The first time we had sex she claimed it was the first time she ever enjoyed it, first time she ever had an orgasm. She had only been with 2 guys before me she said. But, talking with people who knew her before us, she slept with several guys where we worked and where she lived with her ex, Yes when asked she did verify those to me. Now that we live together and talk I am learning (from her) as I ask, just nonchalant, that a whole lot of lies have been told. Her and her ex did sleep in the same bed, she had several sexual partners, but now according to her, she only slept with them all once willingly any other times with them was coerced or even using the "r" word. I am finding everything is a lie. She even told me her dad wasn't getting paid during the shutdown last year, he works at a pallet company. I Was talking to him the other day and just casually asked if he got paid during the shutdown and he said "yes, we're not a government company". We had to go get something from her mom and she told me that her mom told her that her mom's bedroom was locked because her sister was stealing from her mom and her mom and dad weren't home. We get to her mom's house to wait and she wanted me to wait outside until her mom and dad got home. She went in to wait, I had to use their bathroom and walk in to see her mom's bedroom door wide open. I said to my girlfriend, "that doesn't look locked" and she said, "yeah guess mom forgot or lied". But, when I say everything I mean even dumb stuff like I used evaporated milk for my coffee by reconstituting it with water and she asked how I did it? I told her. 5 minutes later she said she used to buy milk like that for the kids and make it, then why ask how it's done if you used to do it all the time? She even told me of something that happened to her and her family when she was a kid, the story was a youtube video her and I had watched a couple weeks before. It seems like the more I talk to her the more I learn that everything in the beginning was a lie and a lot of what she says even now seems to be. In the start of living together she wanted to make love 5 times a day. I do understand that is not sustainable and that intimacy in the bedroom becomes less after the honeymoon phase. But now, whe seems to do everything she can to avoid it. Or sexual relationship has become more mechanical. Mostly using her hand and sometimes orally, claiming it is just as satisfying, to her. If I try to return in kind she will stop me. She won't even let herself orgasm with my fingers, stopping me before she does. If we do start making love she like me on top at first. After a couple minutes she will say she wants to be on top and when we roll she will never get on top. She will use her mouth and call it good. My question is, Am I kidding myself here in thinking that anything she says is true and kidding myself that she didn't cheat while here alone and disappearing all the time, instead of being honest about it? Also, does she actually even enjoy us in the bedroom. I onow from her own telling that she cheated several times in both her former long term relationships, both lasting about 5 years.

Respectfully, if you’re not in love with this girl, then you need to ask yourself why you wouldn't end it & walk away. You’ll do your head in wondering what’s true & what’s not. It’s time to step back & look at your relationship from a different angle. You don’t have trust; you lack any sort of meaningful communication & your whole post just screams your frustration & confusion about your entire 18 month old relationship. There’s a good chance that your GF hadn’t been having sex with those guys & there’s even a better chance that she’s looking for attention etc. However she can’t expect you to just go along with her drama whether she plays the blame game well or not, but that’s what she seems to want you to do going by your post. She’s the one with the issues, but you have to make up your mind if you have the need to be with her & whether you want to support her & be there for her. Ask yourself if you guys share any goals? do you share values etc? what keeps you guys together? If you can talk to your GF’s parents/family, they may well shed some light into their daughter’s behaviour…there will be history of it somewhere. Yeah, you’re probably kidding yourself about certain things, about trying to understand things etc, but it’s time to be honest with yourself & it’s your decision alone no matter what you decide to do. A professional counsellor would also be a big help for you; someone who will analyse things for you & help you to understand what your GF’s issues could be or are. Of course, for her attend counselling, she’d have to first acknowledge that she has a problem as she'd need to be there willingly.

Re: MANALONE ... Respectfully, if you’re not in love with this girl, then you need to ask yourself why you wouldn't end it & walk away ... > No offence It does NOT have to be "love" - it IS simply the excitement of the situation that, prevents from; ... end it & walk away

Re MISSGUIDED79 Thankyou for your 'pearl', but it's best if you would direct you're 'wisdom' to the poster who is the one seeking the advice.