I sent an anonymous letter to a family member, I was found out....

I became annoyed with one of my aunties last year. There was a few different reasons. I felt like there was some distance between her and my mother for some reason. My aunt never announced the birth of her granddaughter. She was going into the restaurant/bar where my partner works and she was chatting to him and requiring about me and my mother and even asking that we visit her. However she had my number and social media and contact details but she wasn't talking to me. She could have asked about me to me. The year before last year in 2024 there was only one message sent between her and my mother each both sent through me. My aunt texting me to wish my mother a happy birthday and Vs versa. What my aunt doesn't realise is that over the past 5 years I noticed things and changes in my mother where I strongly suspect my mother may have dementia. I have a long list of observations that is behavioural and emotional based from my mother. I realise that my mother isn't able to maintain relationships any more. My aunt probably only sees silence from my mother perhaps and passed it to my mother to maintain the relationship perhaps. I am not in a position to talk to my aunt about my suspicions in case she gets excited and it's viewed as gossip to spread around the family. I had to deal with some intense challenges with my mother over the past number of years and also I was subjected to some intense rages and outbursts that don't make any sense. It's like a toddler temper tantrum from a 70+year old woman. In my home country there is an intense housing crisis and it's so bad. I work hard but I just can't affect own accommodation. I also help at home. In relation to my suspicions and concerns the medical professionals have failed me too. A lot of what I see is behavioural and emotional based, disinhibitions and poor comprehension. Any time I raised concerns to my mother's GP my concerns were dismissed because the GPs wanted to see memory loss as a requirement. I am aware that dementia is an umbrella term and i would place it under bvFTD. I did something awful last year to my aunt. I reacted badly to all the stress that I am receiving from my mother. One night I got drunk and I wrote the most horrible thing to my aunt. It wasn't a long letter. It was the most offensive line ever that anyone could ever say or do that involved her late son. And then I sent it to her in the mail anonymously. I regretted it the minute I put it in the mail box and felt sick to my stomach. Stuff then happened behind the scenes with my aunt and that letter and police. My aunt was able to read everything old in her home and genuine stuff and match the handwriting that was similar to something genuine I sent before. Eventually she came to confront me in front of my whole family. I denied it at the time to her. Over the month that followed, she harassed me to confess to her. Even threatening me to go public shaming me. But also during this time I was also working a lot and I also became ill with COVID where I also lost my hearing for a few weeks. Eventually I did pick up the phone and I rang her and I confessed to her and apologised profusely and I wished her and her family peace. I thought the call went well and she said she was glad I talked to her and she just wanted to hear from me. She was hurt and likely she just wanted her own pain and turmoil to stop about this situation. She said nothing more will be said again about the letter. I never confessed to my mother about this and what I did and I never confessed to my own family either. You see my aunt confronted me in front of the whole family. Then at some stage last winter I discovered that she blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp and then also another aunt blocked me too and I did nothing wrong on her. At Christmas time my aunt and my other aunt never sent any Christmas greetings. I know what I did was wrong and it would be expected but my mother did nothing wrong. They could have sent her Christmas greetings and just left my name off it. In March of this year, a cousin of mine was in the pub where my partner works passing a message on to me to pass onto me for my mother. That was to tell my mother that a brother of hers is sick in hospital and it looks like sepsis. Basically the underlying message and tone was to prepare for the worst. To some degree I did appreciate my cousin doing that but it was also a huge smack in the face in that my aunt knew and she never picked up the phone or sent a message and there was an unwritten thing that shows'you don't matter to me' towards my mother. In the end I decided not to tell my mother because she would like have an angry outburst of hate and if her brother has sepsis, he wouldn't be allowed any visitors and my mother is not a doctor and can't help him. There's an element of cruelty in that from aunt. I know I did wrong but I did confess and apologised. My aunt is treating that one act as a whole entire character thing for me. I am deeply ashamed over what I did. I have no idea how to make it right or if I can. Is reconciliation ever possible?