It's official I am as pathetic as I thought

Ok well if you read my first entry then you know about that guy well he hasnt talked to me cause he was mad at me for not telling him i had a tongue ring and why i got it so we are as good as broken up cause i know he hates me but w/e. i was talking to a friend of mine from Canada and he was telling me about how he used to feel the same way i do that he thought he was ugly and fat but i told himi the difference is he isnt either of those, and he is really cool so i hope he doesnt feel like that anymore and relizes that he will find someone thats right for him, but like in my first entry about the 26 year old well i talked to him last night and he said he didnt really have a reason for dumping me and that he never stopped loving me nad now he loves me like a friend and loves my other friend, which dont get me wrong im glad they are happy and all that, but he actually said it was my fault that they got together b/c went i got sent to the crazy house he called her and they "hit it off" well thats a bunch of bull cause he would talk to her on the phone more than he did me when WE were dating but w/e i dont care about him even as a friend anymore but dont get me wrong i hope he has a good life and junk and im gettin tired of my friend she calls and just wants to know if ive talked to him and all that and tells me stuff about him like a give a freak but i listen cuase i wanna be a good friend, and i really feel like cutting again and this time "slippin" so that i wont have to feel like this anymore the only reason i havent yet cause my fav aunt who is like a sister to me they htink she had a stroke so i wanna make sure she is gonna be ok and my baby cousin is so cute i wanna watch him grow up i just dont wanna have to live like this anymore, and the whole religious part of me i dont know about anymore,t he church i go to is just filled with hypocrites who dont care about church they just care about the church "in crowd" and when i started they didnt care who i was until they found out who my cousin was and they love him so that meant they thought htey had to like me and so i dont go anymore unless i really wanna go to church which is rare anymore like i still believe in God and Jesus and stuff but i just dont feel spiritual anymore , well ok im gunna stop talking now just thought id vent for a little bit so if you want tell me how pathetic i am and stuff -Adnama

i dont agree with u, ur not pathetic, u jus need a gud friend2talk2. u need a gud shoulder2cry on.Uneed2forget bout this man n move on, u need2start fresh, think clearly, think bout ur aunt n baby cousin n not cuttin urself - in the long run it doesnt help any problem. xxx