Insecurities took over the mind

He was with me for a year but we were super young and silly yet i was a hopeless romantic and loved is what i yearned for but i learned that the love i was getting was lust and not only did he force me but forced me upon on relationship to not leave me and after the cheating and the screaming, our forever was dead. Now I have started a new beggining with someone who isn't like any other not like the other who i thought would be but my first shaped me into a bitter and guarded person but it's been two years with this person and he has been nothing be great to me yet i take him for granted only because i feel like i am not good enough for someone so perfect.. and it's like it was too good to be true, my insecurities have over come me because i felt like the reasons for our fightings were because of me, i mess up everything and i take everything to blame and i dont mind but he doesn't , he tells me it's not true and it gets worse, i always think another better girl will steal him away. I can't take how i am anymore, it hurts the people who i love the most especially the one who sees me more than i do myself.