Love and hate

I met a boy online through one of our mutual friend. This mutual friend also met him online. She was my school friend. This boy used to interact with both of us and soon became good friends with both of us. He used to chat with both of us. Soon this boy and me became the best of friends and eventually lovers. I used to talk to him everyday. Share everything with him and loved him a lot. He meant a lot to me. He loved me too. I heard that my friend used to talk to him on phone a lot before our relationship started. He told me not to tell about our relationship to others as the time was not right and it was not like he wanted to hide it. So this friend always thought we were good friends. When i heard that she would call him up and talk to him,i objected. But he said that he was real good friends with her before he fell in love with me. He valued both his friendship and relationship and i should have faith in him. I said i didn't want to be so selfish that i would stop him from talking to his friends. And i trusted him too. Everything was going fine. He would text very less and when i would get angry if he disappeared for long hours,he said he had work and could not text me all day. He said he always took out time for me inspite of being so busy. He said i texted him a lot and kinda "choked" him. I never did that. I simply loved talking to him. And i would always be there to talk to him. I never disappeared for such long hours. But he said due to this he was "losing" the feelings he had for me. I said if he felt that i choked him,i would not do so henceforth. I pleaded. Made repeated requests. But he was adamant. He said he did not want a relationship. He wanted to be a free bird. He said i should give him time to figure out. For two days,i was dying. The words he had said were killing me. But i was waiting. After two days he asked whether we could just be friends. I asked him the exact reason. He said he did not know. I called him several times after that text but he refused to talk. He threatened to block me. I was so damn angry,hurt and frustated. I texted and just lashed out on him. I said a few offensive things. But it was just because he provoked me and pushed me to that limit. He blocked me after that. I sent messages and emails apologizing. But he said i had crossed the line and asked me to "fuck off". I sent a few more mails apologizing. Then i confided in our mutual friend who refused to believe me (she never knew about our relationship) and said that they were dating each other. I was shocked. She ssaid that i liked him and thats why i was trying to turn her against him. (few days back i had heard that she was talking behind my back. I told this boy. I confronted her too and we sorted out it. But he felt that we were not friends anymore) I thought he double dated and i sent him a text stating that. He send a VERY ABUSIVE email after that. He said he never double dated and did not feel the need to give an explanation.he stated that i was calling her my friend just because she was close to him now. He called me a bitch,whore,DAMNED,PYSCHOTIC,EVIL,SELFISH person. A disgrace to friend lover and human. I was SO HURT AND UPSET. A series of namecalling and cussing followed after that. I did not understand as to how he could go dating a person who was just a good friend of his and that too i come to know a week after our breakup. I do not know whether he dumped me for her or moved on just one day after our breakup. But it sucks to think that the person whom i trusted so much,loved so much did this to me. He left me and that too in such a horrible way. This entire incident has affected me a lot mentally and emotionally. I don't feel cheerful the way i used to be always. For all the love,loyalty i gave..i got this in the end. I feel like a loser. I feel betrayed.

Hey i am so sorry u are going through this. I can feel ur pain... My boyfriend left me saying he doesnt love me and within 2 months of breakup he's interested in someone else already. I was so heart broken i couldnt even think of living without him. Still cant... but i started praying regularly... i have done everything, begged pleaded, all that phase where i felt guilty and put my ego aside for him, just like you! Dont feel disheartened. Pray to Allah and take each day as it comes. You havent failed. He failed for loosing you... God is just, he will realize what he has lost. Have faith and be strong, this time will pass but dont degrade urself..!!