Virginity

Iam 25yrs old gal. i was in relationship with a guy since 2007 till 2010. that was a internet based relationship. we met many times and hanged out. we both loved each other and his family knew about our relationship and they were all okay with it. it was almost sure that we would be getting married in future. so we tried getting intimate and i lost my virginity to him(hymen rupture). but we dint have sex, only we tried to have and in that i lost my virginity. after that whenevr we met we did lovemaking of all sort but dint have sex.he told me about masturbation also and i used to masturbate 5-6 times a month(never used any object for it,only clitoris stimulation). now that he cheated me,so we brokeup. but iam worried about my marriage when at first night there will be no bleeding cos hymen is already ruputured and in no way i can tell it to my husband that i was in any relationship. iam here to get counselled and to get some positive response. kindly help me with this problem and some alternate reason for hymen rupture other than sex so that my life after marriage is okay! i know i have done wrong but it was not meant to be like that. please help

You loved and trusted this man, you gave yourself to him and I am sorry he betrayed your trust. It must be hard to feel that now you think that when you marry the man will be horrified you have no hymen. Technically if you had penetration it was sex even if there was no grinding, unless you mran he used his hand. I wonder if you are religious or you feel sex should have only been for marriage. You felt loved, wanted and cared for by this man. You gave a lot in love, so do not feel guilty for that. Love is a risk, but you are an adult and felt loved by him. I am sorry he cheated on you. Now as for you worrying about your hymen being broken, it is a fact that most women have their hymen broken even if they have not had sex. One explination, if you want to explain to a future husband, is horse riding can break the hymen. The action of riding, especially when a horse trots and the rider has to rise and fall so the hymen can be broken that way. Remember you were loved and loved this guy so you trusted him. It is not wrong to have had a loving relationship, but sorry if you feel you compromised your beliefs. You say you felt you would get married to him and feel you have done wrong now. It was love, not a casual, vapid fling, it was done in trust, care and a relationship of a few years. I know in a sense how you feel, I am not religious, but want to wait, if I do, to only have sex in marriage. I have done something too recently I feel guilty of, not sex, but something to do with a guy,so know how you feel with guilt. You were in love though with your ex and he with you so remember that. I hope horse riding can be a helpful explination for you. Take care.

if you are in sports at your college time then you cn also tell him because of more practice your hymen rupture u kw i m same as that of you a religious girl that believes sex is after marriage but u kw nw i m in love and his presence is like drug to me like if he is wd me i forgot myself dont have any control on me but v always meet in public place so that v cn avoid sex as he also wants sex after mrg he is loyal to me u didnt do any mistake to go close to him u r in love at dat time and love knws no limits so dont feel guilty nd enjoy your new life sweety dnt worry

Thanks Deliah! And Shona! Iam feeling very much positive now! N Yeah iam religious but dunno how it all happened and i accept that i have made a grave mistake.i was so much depressed all these days. its been an year that we brokeup and all these things are haunting me. Thank You both for the positive response. i have question that i dunno horseriding:( how can i tell my husband about it?? suggest some other reason please. can cycling can rupture hymen,wats the technique then??? please help me regarding this. i will grateful for life.....