Insecure!!!

I have just entered into a relationship in the last few weeks and it was going really well until----wham bam my insecurities jumped up and hit me smack in the face! I am 39 and have been single for 2 years. Ive previously had a violent marriage where my husband had an affair with my mate. Then got mixed up with a Turkish guy who ripped me off for nearly 30 thousand pounds! So hence my problem is I find it hard to trust men. I have known this man for some years and it became quite intense very quick but then after being bombarded with 10 texts a day and several phone calls he went quiet for a couple of days (due to being busy running his company!) We sat and talked and seemed to sort it then it happened again for a couple of days. Im slowly screwing this up because of my insecurities. He is a lovely man and I do trust him but I worry. Please can anyone give me advise on how to deal with being insecure.

Hope your not still in debt by nearly £30k, otherwise you'll probably find it difficult to attract and hold down any relationship (unless you find yourself a footballer or something). I guess you just need to ease yourself into this relationship, and make your new guy understand what you have been through, without trying to make him feel sorry for you of course. At least you've got the common sense to realise that you could be jeopardising your chances of a future together, so that's the first thing you can be credited with. If you are serious about this guy, then you should channel your efforts into building up a mutual trust between each other over time. Do not rush things, but continue to maintain a good level of communication, and ensure that both of you know how far down the relationship path you are now, and where you expect to be at different points in the near future. That way, you can ensure that expectations are set on both sides, and this will hopefully lead to a more stable and successful outcome.

Thanks for your sound advice. No Im not in debt as I ended up going bankrupt 2 years ago! I know I am jeopardising my chances in this relationship and its hard not to be like this. I just want to be happy!

I'm sorry but I'm horrified that Dangermouse thinks just because someone is in debt they'll find it hard to attract and hold onto a relationship. If you love someone money doesn't matter. I know it sounds obvious but some counselling may help and you must remember not everyone is a bad guy. It's hard after being hurt but things can only get better xx