Loneliness

About a year ago, my girlfriend of eight years passed away & nothing has felt right since. To wake up next to the one whose held your heart for so long only to find they've left you on this world alone was more than I could handle but the days & nights afterwards are begining to take their on me. I was given some advice be a friend who said I need to get back in the game but I don't even know where to start. To make things worse, i don't look my age which I've been told for years & that makes it hard to approach women. On top of that, there's the fear of getting close to someone only to lose them too. I'm lost & tired of being alone. Someone please help me!

Dear JUSTBLAZE, I am really so sorry to hear about your loss. I do understand how you feel. But remember time is the best healer. Dont try too hard to get things back to normal. These things will take time. Try doing things you like...meeting friends, going for movies, learning something new, taking up a hobby etc. Make new friends..at the moment concentrate on being good friends..eventually you will find someone special. All the best to you..May God bless you and give you the strength to face this..keep smiling and try to find happiness in small things..remember a happy face attracts people..:)

I agree with Swan about taking your time re any new intimate relationships. The advice to: "get back in the game" might be well intended, but it doesn't recognise that it can take some time to adjust to the loss of a loved one. The feeling of fear you have about getting close to someone because of the risk of losing them is a classic sign of grieving. I suspect that it's probably a sign that you are not yet ready for intimate emotional involvement with someone new, so take your time. Pushing yourself to get out and about might be a good move, but don't feel you need to do things that just don't feel right for you at the moment when it comes to dating. The deep sense of "feeling alone" that you have may well be a symptom of the fact that you are still grieving, and so paradoxically is likely to be an indication that you are not ready for a new partner just yet. if you are in the UK and would like to talk with someone who will understand how you are feeling, then Cruse provide a network of bereavement counselling centres around Britain. Google will find their website for more details. ATB Sky