Is this all just a game?

I've been seeing this girl half my age. While I am attracted to younger women, I usually don't pursue anything. This started as one thing and quickly developed into a close friendship (at least I thought so). When the friendship was developing I decided I was going to give her freedom to do anything she wanted to without me getting mad about it, and I did. She didn't have to lie to me or avoid anything, because she had a free pass. When I caught her lying to me about meaningless non-scenes, she got her free pass on that too! At two months I met her boyfriend that i had never even heard of...free pass. Stories that he was beating her, although no bruising or marks on either of them I didn't dismiss this, it could still be true. They broke up. He left her with no place to live, and just totally devastated and confused. I was there for her, in every way, offered my home if she needed a place to stay for a while (she didn't), comforted her while she cried and cursed his very existence. Then, a couple nights ago, I invited her over for dinner. Her response text was...I'm not sure, I'm with "Him" and going to the store right now...I was floored! MY response, "OH I see...Do you know what an asshole is? no free pass on this one. Then her's, playfully and avoiding the issue, "it's a donkey"...The free passes only got me disrespected it seems. I'm 41 she's 21. any feedback will be appreciated. thanks.

It sounds like you've realized yourself that she has disrespected you. These "free passes" are probably coming from you with good intentions, but perhaps she is taking advantage of them? Have you been monogamous with her? Do you have mutual free passes? I think she is still into this boyfriend of hers if she is willing to go back to him. She probably doesn't take the relationship with you too seriously because there have been no boundaries set and respect built. She probably likes having you there for comfort and support and maybe takes that for granted. You have to ask yourself if what you are getting from this is equal to what you are giving. Just my thoughts anyways!

To answer your question: yes, it does sound like a game. But I think you need to face the facts, i.e. you are old enough to be this girls father, and friends with benefits with someone half your age is bordering on the predatory. What are you to this girl? Father figure, lover, creepy uncle, or what? Get real, get out of the relationship and find someone nearer to your age to: "befriend". If you don't want to make a commitment to someone, then don't expect the kind of loyalty you seem to be looking for. I don't know why you think you have any authority to issue "free passes" - she's just played you at your own game. Learn from this experience and move on - the sooner the better for all concerned. Sky