Is he controlling me?

Hi, I have been in a relationship for more than three years now and it is pretty serious. But I'm confused and afraid he is controlling me. I used to go out with friends but he used to get upset and I stopped. He is also very concerned about what kind of job I should do and doesn't want me to work in winter while I'm studying because he is concerned I will not manage and also because I'll have less time to dedicate to our relationship. I don't know what to think about this. I get confused when my friends ask me to go out with them and I lie about it but apart from that I am happy with him. The thing is I'm scared to discuss these things with him because I didn't discuss them immediately and know I don't know what I should do.

You are passing over control to him because you're not being assertive. Next time your friends ask you out, accept, and tell him that you won't be in on XX night. If you start discussing it with him you will in effect be asking for his permission - which you definitely shouldn't have to do. If he then starts acting up and making a fuss, you will know that he is trying to control you, and I suggest that you make it clear to him that you don't intend to be controlled. Sky

You are being too submissive. I have been in this situation..only I never listened to him. We dated for four years and have just broken up again for me not listening to him. You do NOT want a guy like this, I have just figured this out. You want a guy that is loving and understanding and wants you to be happy. He is obviously insecure. Most guys (good guys) find it attractive when girls are independent, have their own lives, and stand up for themselves. Tell him you don't like it, he will either admire it or get pissed off. It's a win win situation! If he admires it, he is a keeper. If he gets pissy, hes a puss.