How do I learn to trust my husband again after he was caught lying

I have been married for 19 years and I think my husband has been lying. I caught him in several lies and some of them were small lies but some were big. I found a file on his computer were he was comparing my size to 20 other younger fitness models. Is that normal for a husband to do that? Now every time I ask him a question about something he goes off the handle and refuses to talk to me. How do i know if he is lying and how do i trust him again?

That's not normal. And he should care that its making you uncomfortable, and he should care enough to want to fix it. Maybe you need some space, maybe hang out with friends or go on a solo weekend somewhere and get space. If he's your husband, he should care about you. To me, it sounds like his off-the handle-behavior suggests he feels guilty. Talk about it at dinner one day. Ask him to listen to everything you have to say before he comments. If he refuses, tell him he NEEDS to listen. You deserve that much. And if he doesn't you definitely need to seperate yourselves for a while. Because you dont deserve to be beating yourself up about it and hurting while he gets to avoid responsibility.