I don't know if it's love or not

Hi, Im 17 years old about to be 18 and last year around july I got my first job at a fast food place. And I met this guy that was 21 years old and who I just would casually flrit with at work, untill one day he decided to give me his number and I didnt know exactly why cause I mean before that day I had just seen him as a cute guy from work but when he gave me his number I just felt loved cause before this guy I had only had like 2 boyfriends and they were foolish, kiddish relationships nothing serious what so ever. So it all started from there we started talking he would text me but never end the conversation just stop texting me and at work he kept it very professional he kept our private life private but i mean we didnt really do much other than texting. He would just tell me that I was beutiful and that when i turn 18 that he wanted to marry me and at this point yeah i liked the kid of course i did but it was nothing else i still went out and met other guys and talked to other peoplee. Than it all just started getting bad i mean when we would work together he would ignore me and stuff so then one day he finally told me "Im 21 you should know i dont like to play 16 year old games." I was 16 years old at the time. and that was the very first time i cried for what he had told me so we didnt talk for a long long time, almost 4 months, untill i gave in and started talking to him of course and from there on everything was good he invited me to go over to his cousins house (cause the weird thing was that he never ever took me to his house never) and ditch school i was nervous about his because Im a virgin and he wasnt of course so i thought maybe if I went he was gona want sex but i made it clear to him that i wouldnt do that he said those were not his intentions. SO that day i ditched school and all i did with him was lay in a bed watch tv and smoke weed. I hate smoking weed but hes a huge pothead so what was i suppose to do, so I smoked with him. That day was kind of really boring but i had never slept in a bed with a guy before, shoot! i had never even really been that close to a guy in closed doors before cause no one was home of course. And after that we would hang out after work only like twice after that he would take me to his cousins house to watch movies and we would cuddle, but I always had to make the first move he wouldnt do anything if I didnt go forth with it. He was weird idk how to explain it but like after everytime we hanged out like he wouldnt text me for almost a whole weeek or when we saw eachother again he would act like im just any other person when im like omgg i fuckin love you, we are sharing somehting special! but he was just like whatever he was also very private. SO one day I hanged out with him and when he came to pick me up from my friends house he was extrememly high we had planned a nice date dinner and a movie but this kid was already all high and so he peer pressured me into smoking and i got really high too and so then after that we went to a movie got lost and he was a jerk to me the whole night we even left the movie early cause it sucked. and so i decided that i wasnt going to talk to him anymore and trust me this was the hardest thing for me, I loved him or at least thats what i thought and so like i thought a lot about what to say to him and i sent him like a 6 page text saying everything he made me feeel good and bad and i also quit my job so I wouldnt have to see him anymore and I also changed my friends and things around me that reminded me ofhim but i cried A LOT almost everyday and i played a song that reminded me of him which made it worse. So i gave in and i ended up texting him letting all my pride down and he acted suprised of course and then i eneded up finding out that he worked at vans in the mall and what did i do? I got a job at journeys right next to his! Im so emmbarrasing and i only saw him once but from a far and so time passed and i didnt see him for a while soi texted him and he texted me back, a week lateer like always and said that he moved to Arizona and omg i just started bawling!! :( it was the saddest day ever because he wasgone not even in the same state as me anymore and there was no possibility of me seeing him which made my world hell and so now it been 10 months that i last talked to him in person and i miss him so much and i want to be with him, if he wants sex to like me i will give it to him no questions asked i just want him and i want him really bad. Hes what ive always wanted and i dont think that ill ever find anyone like him.. I dont know what to do cause i cant like anyone else im not interested in anyone else i just dont, dont like anyone but him, its almost going to be a year and hes extrememly far away and we hardly ever talk anymore but ill wait for him, i will, if i were to get a invitation to his wedding i would go and probably think about stopping it but then let him go although i know it would be the hardest thing i will ever have to do...sorry its long, i need help please?

Hello! I'm from Asia so don't be shocked if I treat you so liberated at that early age. I'm 18yrs old by the way. Actually, it's time for you to forget that man because they are those typical guys who are serious and has problems and they don't usually share to people, that means they hide something serious. Of course, youre a girl and usually flirt to him. Obviously, he have known that so he treated you as a friend whom he shares his happiness despite of those hidden problems of him. That's what I could help...also, Don't treat boys like theyre easily tempted, they are more sensitive than girls.