Boyfriend not ready for next step, am I wasting my time?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and living together for just over a year. I am completely in love with him and know that I want to marry him and spend my life with him. We both are divorced and have kids. We've been through some ups and downs, especially when we first mixed our families but all in all it's been great. Our kids get along pretty good and his kids love me and my kids love him. My kids have commented that they already were stepbrothers and it feels like we're already married. Truth is, it does as far as commitment goes, at least for me. We don't share our finances but have split up the household duties and expenses. He has given me every indication to make me think he would proposing soon, in the past asking my ring size, whether I would want to pick it or be surprised etc. We also have talked a few times about our desire to get all our kids (6) together and get married on a beach on vacation. On vacation this Feb. while on a cruise he asked if I would want to get married on a cruise and I said no, on a beach with just our kids. Then bam, he starts planning a vacation with our kids. 3 of them are young aduts and obviously it would be too much expense to do it twice so I assume a proposal is just around the corner. It's been driving me crazy wondering so last week I asked him where he sees this going. (now we have had this discussion before and both confirmed it was leading to marriage but never talked about a timeline) he then tells me he sees himself married to me in 3-4 years. He is 45 and I am 42, I made it clear when I moved in that shacking up was not something I believed in, that I truly believed in the comitment of marriage.He travels quite a bit for work and has had to more this year then in the past, his reason was his traveling ruined his marriage before and he wants to be sure we can indure the separation. (his wife had a 3 year affair due to "being lonely" Problem is (and I told him this) waiting 3-4 years is going against what I believe in and not what I want for my life. I suggested we come up with a more reasonable timeframe that we both can be comfortable with, such as engaged in the next year and married up to a year later. It kind of ended there with no resolution. My question is, do I wait and see what he does? I don't want to badger him and continually bring it up and I don't want to give him an ultimatum but I really don't feel comfortable continuing to play house and act like we are a family. I think for my sanity the longest I can go is possibly a year and a half. If he hasn't proposed by then I feel like I should move out. I really do love him with all my heart and know he is the man for me but should I be expected to give up what's important to me and my future? I feel as though he should know by now and the things he says to me tells me he sees me as his wife eventually but why wait 3-4 years? He gets a big promotion then but what does that have to do with it? He makes more than enough money now. My head tells me don't be stupid and I don't want to waste my time...thoughts of why buy the cow when the milk is free come to mind. I don't think he wants to string me along but to say I was shocked to hear him say 3-4 years is an understatement. I was blown away, he showed every sign of proposing soon. I am saddened and feel so unsettled, I'm not sure what to do about it at this point. I also want to add that trust is not an issue on either end, we both are faithful and even though it's hard for me when he's gone I miss him and welcome him with open arms every time he comes home. We've been through hos traveling periods several times so why the need "test me"? If that's even what it is.

Hi, I appreciate your input. I rambled on and phrased that wrong. After being divorced I think living with a person you love and can see marriage with is a wise idea as a step to marriage. I don't personally believe in living together long term just out of convienance. I think living with someone really shows you if you are compatible and see how you relate when you aren't always on your 'best behavior". Where I obviously made a huge mistake was moving in before an engangement or a very clear discussion of a timeline before an engagement and marriage. We did both say we wanted it to lead to marriage and several times since, that's why this 3-4 years information last week shocked me because we do always talk about a future just not when exactly. He is a wonderful man and I do believe him when he tells me he wants to marry me down the road and I'm very fearful I will be forced to move out before then because of my beliefs and comfort level. In my mind I'm thinking the longest I can go with out at least being engaged is a year tops. I feel I need to respect his timeframe as he was cheated on and maybe more insecure about rushing things in his eyes. But he also needs to respect me as well and I'm hopeful we can come up with a more reasonable timeframe that we both can be happy and comfortable with. This is very difficult because I love him so much, he is such a wonderful man and I have no doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with him but marriage really means something to me, more than it did when I was married before. I'm quite a bit older now and I see my mistakes and have learned from them. I definitely see what you are saying and I can read between the lines, I don't want to be strung along either. It's very frustrating. I just never would have thought I would be one of those girls pining for a proposal...especially at my age. It's sad and I feel insecure, a loss of self control almost. I'm an independant woman and this is such a battle between my head and my heart right now.