I don't know what to do any more

I've been with my boyfriend for two years now. We've known each other for years, so moving in after six months wasn't crazy. I have always become a little suspicious of him with regards to electronics. I'm never allowed to see or hold his phone, and whenever he is on his laptop he closes everything down before I even get a chance to glance to see if he's on anything fun or interesting. A couple of months ago we were in bed, and I was asleep and I thought he was too. He was on his phone and the light from it woke me up, but instead of turning over I peaked what he was on, since I was on his shoulder anyway. It turned out he was on porn. This made me frantic. I have low self-esteem as it is. But I felt so disgusted by him. We have a great sex life (at least 5-6 times a week), always willing to try something new and have even bought toys he suggested. Why would he go and look at that while I was right there? I was so upset that he promised over his familys life that he would never look at it again. I believed him and about a month later I caught him an hour after we had sex, on a girls web cam live show. I lost it, I've been crying and my stomach has been in knots for weeks. I don't know what to do, am I over reacting? What should I do I need help, please!

Granted it is a little weird but I think that he wants to expeirence a little more spice in the sex department. Have you ever asked him if this is some some sort of fetish that he wanted to do?

Oh Honey!!! PLEASE READ THIS! PORN IS OKAY! Let's start there. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years and this was a big issue for me for a long time. So I get you. What I have learned is that I never told, just out right sat my boyfriend down in front of the computer and turned on porn and said watch this with me let's have fun. Do that!!! Or at least try it. Sex is good!!! And something we think about all the time guy or girl, so sometimes it is just what people watch when they are bored. Many sex therapists say do whatever works to get your partner going as long as you feel safe and loved and sexy. I know it hurts and can feel like a betrayal, especially after you have just had sex or he masturbates instead of having sex with you. But he's not someone you should be disgusted with. If you like porn enjoy it together and alone. Remember he may not always want you to see what he is into that day but you can always have your head someplace else. You are going to need to sit down and write out how you feel before you talk to him. Do the whole Who, What, Where, When, Why, and Hows of things and make sure you know your true issues with each main problem. Only use fact and personal feelings, DO NOT POINT FINGERS or blame. Come up with solutions and try to remember he has emotions and feelings so maybe he needs to get something out. Something to remember, he may be looking at other girls but he's having sex with YOU for a reason. Do not lose your confidence, it will only be downward from their. Remember feelings have their place so use them wisely and TALK TO HIM! You can totally get fun with this and come out on top and so much better for it. :) Good luck and I really hope this helps!!!