Feeling very low :(

Been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, and it's been amazing. we've been away together, we see each other every day. Thing is, i;ve been depressed for a few years and it got totally out of hand about a month ago and he wanted a break. so we had a break for about 4/5 days, even though we were talking to each other the whole time. i wrote him a letter to tell him how i felt, and he kept telling me how much he loved me. But i felt so hurt that he put that barrier up between us, that i;ve kind of kept it there. at the moment, i feel i cant kiss him, tell him i want him .. etc.. i want time on my own. i dont know whether its PMT or what.. but i feel terrible :(

Have you been to the doctors to talk about your depression? Maybe there is some support they can give you to get your depression under control, and to help you prevent throwing your relationship away. Doesn't being with your boyfriend raise your spirits, so that you don't feel as depressed when you are with him? Please don't blame your boyfriend for putting up this so called barrier, in response to the way you are. If you think that the reason for the break is already down to you, then blaming him for it will only damage your perception of him, rather than get you to focus on how things can be improved - and that is to look at your inner self, ask other people for support (by going to the doctors and confiding in friends and family), and a whole lot of control over your own mind. If you really love your boyfriend, then holding a grudge that he wanted a temporary split is not something good to have in your head. I think that it is a really positive sign that he has still maintained contact with you over the 4 or 5 days... so the way forward seems to be up to you now... he just needs to see that you are trying to change, and to feel comfortable that there won't be these relapses every so often.

I'm having counciling on the NHS at the moment, for something completely different, but i think this might be triggering things off. Today i feel great, i had a good weekend with him, and i might be moving in with him next month.. but god knows why i felt so odd for 2 weeks before. It always happens a week before my period and it makes me feel so guilty!! I just hope that somehoe i can put a stop to the feelings becuase it felt i was ruining everything we had between us