Frustrated and hurt

Hi People, Where do I start well I have been seeing this woman for 4 years now and recently she said she needed space and I have given her that. When we first started going out there was an issue which was that I had been out with her sister 15 years previously for 3 months and due to my current partners insecurity she had a problem with that. Anyway 4 years down the line I feel that subconciously she still has a problem however we got on really great together and enjoyed each others company immensly or so I thought we even tried for a baby last year but nothing happened. Anyway she now can't make love to me and it's frustrating she now says that she wants to be friends but I fear that is impossible. I got her started in the same martial art tht I do because she was originally lacking in confidence and her own self esteem and now 4 years down the line this has improved markedly, however I have not been training in the last 3 months as to see her and not hold or hug her is proving difficult. I just don't know what to do any advice