I want a loving relationship

My partner and I have been together for 6 years. I'm 52, he's 41. When we met he was a heavy drinker but our sex life was always good. He had a stressful time about a year into the relationship and our sex life dwindled into non-existence. We now make love only once in a blue moon, normally after he's had a drink. I have tried many times to discuss this with him but he just dismisses it as not being a problem, not everyone is sex mad. I've asked him to be more affectionate, a pat on the bottom, kiss on the back of the neck etc but he will only do this if I ask. We are great "mates", have a laugh, have similar interests etc, but I really feel let down in the "relationship" area. I want to feel like a woman, loved and cherished. Instead I feel constantly old and unattractive. Can anyone think of anything I may not have already tried? I'm at the make or break stage and I really want to "make" it. Thanks